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Years ago my brother emailed me and my sister and our cousins a list of nautical rap names that he’d been working on with his coworkers, and my contribution was Childish Branzino and I think it’s still my proudest pun accomplishment?
Ingrid 🐙 retweeted
Boys are not easier to raise, you just neglect them and their social development because you know the world bends over backwards to accommodate, protect and explain the behaviour of the men they will become.
🎶 I am 42, I do not want to make more friends, I barely keep up with the ones I have, please stop trying to befriend me 🎶
I fully believe in democratizing food and cooking knowledge. And. There are some real amateurs out there posing as experts and fully talking out of their asses and making $$$ doing it.
To all y’all real ones out there: Go get yours.
I got the chance recently to write about my personal experience with postpartum anxiety and I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to share. Side note, I wish @meaghano could just edit my life. Thanks again Meaghan for the opportunity! romper.com/pregnancy/ppa-fir…
Some bitch called the cops on my neighbor down the street for letting her 8yo walk down to our house to pick up bread. My poor neighbor was so traumatized.
people complaining about kids no longer going outside or riding bikes is because if you try to be a normal parent, other psycho helicopter parents will call the cops on you
nj.com/advice/2023/03/ask-am…
ALT A newspaper advice column called "Ask Amy" by Amy Dickinson that starts with "Dear Amy: I've become aware that my neighbor has been leaving her 13-year-old at home alone while she goes to work on Saturdays. I'm concerned about this child and wonder if I should call CPS (Child Protective Services) to report this parent for neglect" sent in by "Concerned Neighbor"
Ingrid 🐙 retweeted
good friend is late 20s. in shape, has £10,000 a year, lives in a fine house with some of the finest woods in the country. but he’s consistently ghosted, ignored, or told “you’re the last man in the world i could be prevailed upon to marry.” modern women are broken.
Ingrid 🐙 retweeted
When I worked in tech on IWD they had a celebration where the VPs shook all the women's hands on my team and then everyone stood around looking at each other until finally one of the women sighed and started cutting and plating the giant sheet cake they'd gotten us
Ingrid 🐙 retweeted
take me back to the split second when i was convinced this was meant to be a frame for a photo of a great meal
Husband and I are both whores for a Ryan Reynolds film and Netflix served up a movie called R.I.P.D. last night. Phew. What an absolute waste of an all-star cast. We made it about 35 minutes before we decided to just go to bed.
5 drinks to get to know me:
1. Americano with a wee splash of coconut creamer
2. Soda fountain Fanta with pebble ice
3. Hendricks dirty gin martini, extra olives
4. Grass jelly drink in the can
5. Carpano Antica with a big fancy ice cube
Ingrid 🐙 retweeted
So there's a great Thai restaurant in my neighborhood called Kiin. Yesterday, I searched for their website to order some takeout. Here's the Google result.
I used to play dodgeball with this guy when I lived in LA bocanewsnow.com/2022/12/11/k…
Ingrid 🐙 retweeted
I would like to publicly apologize to JK Rowling. There is no evidence she eats child hearts out of a trough like a farm goat. Furthermore, it was disingenuous to imply that JK "doesn't use bathrooms" and that she "just goes where she goes, like a horse"
I am being asked to appear on camera for my work more (this wasn’t in my OG job description) and I have to do my own hair/makeup, and all my makeup is crappy/expired because I hardly ever wear it so I spent $75 at the Walgreens on new makeup, do I make my work pay for it?
93%Yes
7%No
15 votes • Final results