Erogenous Jones

Things ppl on twitter overrate: - The Simpsons - Bernie winning Nevada - Anthony Bourdain - Uncut Gems - David Crosby - it being cool to gratuitously discuss Henry Kissinger dying.

I assume they’re all locked in a Twin Peaks: The Return style time loop nightmare where they’ve been told they’re opening for The Rapture or something but they show up to the gig (the Satellite Lounge, maybe) and it’s been closed for years, collecting cobwebs

I enjoy living near Silverlake because you see so many Julian Casablanca circa 2003 look-a-like rockers walking about. They wear the same outfit they wore when they arrived in Silverlake but now look utterly confused and terrified by changes in the world around them

Unifying the working class by telling people… 1. Holidays are violence ✨💫🥳 2. Every social bond you have is actually super toxic and you need to cut these ppl out 🤷🏻‍♂️🙅🏻‍♂️ 3. Things you enjoy are bad and… they too are violence 🤔🤭 Verso ™️

No offense to the PNW but I went to Victoria, BC and ppl were like ‘we’re like the SF’ of Canada. When I was in portland, everyone was like ‘this is the haight ashbury’, ‘this is ‘the Castro’ of Portland. Convinced that Portland is just all the ppl who left Oakland after occupy

Non-Laker NBA fans, here’s a tip: follow every die hard Laker fan account you can. It’ll make your day everyday.

Ted Kaczynski and Timothy McVeigh housed next to each other; Charles Manson and Timothy Leary. Someone’s gotta do a story on this

Learning that not only did cheech and chong get started in Canada, tommy chong was cellmates with Jordan Belfort. What’s the deal with this? Why are famous people always cellmates with other famous people? Not even just the rich ones

The DSA Bisexuals Caucus’ silence on this matter is deafening

I need to know why Kim and Kanye bought their child an A’s cap

In order to unify Los Angeles, and bring Silverlake and Crenshaw together in anticipation of the super bowl, the city should put billboards outside nipsey hussle square that say ‘the erowon continues ;)’

Todd Gitlin and Peter Bogdanovich are both dead. Producers booking interviews for sixties activism or Hollywood history docs must be freaking out

San José State University has started using the ‘é’ it seems. I hope the rest of the city does the same, only because the idea of San Joseans doing something to get noticed is very endearing

When I get married, instead of a registry I’m going to do a gofundme to pay for Steve Harvey to be the wedding MC

I think we can all agree that the only way we can undo the harm Andrew and Chris Cuomo did to young women is to elect Andrew Cuomo’s young daughter to be the first demi/pansexual governor of New York

First they came for the bisexuals. And I did not speak out. Because frankly they annoyed me a little bit too.

How about this? a Back to the Future style plot about preventing Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach from ever meeting, so that we can all have our love of DeLillo, Hot Wheels, Barbie Alcott, Truffaut unsullied

Damn houellebecq may have gone too far with this one