I believe a serving size of peanut butter is the whole jar. My biggest fear is developing a peanut allergy. | writer of words, rider of bikes

Chattanooga, TN
Joined February 2010
Hands down the greatest text I've ever received from my mom.
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I can’t believe I’m expected to work on a Google Slides deck tomorrow
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SCARLETT: I don't have a Mets hat JOST: Just wear any hat SCARLETT: Wait I got it
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Can you tarmac a coach after a home game
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That’s why you don’t send your team on the field at the same time as us. Boomer Sooner?
one of our cheerleaders just absolutely demolished an oklahoma with some wild crouching tiger hidden dragon move
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There are many cringe-worthy things about the Hugh Freeze era but one of the cringiest is that all our pre-game hype videos look like a straight to Disney+ Frozen spin-off.
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Oh and we suck
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I don’t think Auburn games should be televised or open to the public
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Unfortunately I will be in attendance next Saturday to watch… whatever this is
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Auburn’s coaches have concepts of a plan
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Auburn's offense has now turned the ball over 19 times in its last five games against power-conference competition there's still one more quarter to play in this game, too
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Since 2020, I haven’t turned on an Auburn football game and felt any remote sense of optimism. I’ve watched the games, but I haven’t seen us play football in years. So glad we hired a future MAGA congressman as HC and DC who directly caused a player’s death.
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Offensive penalties have wiped off a couple of sick plays from Robby Ashford today
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'There's a caterpillar, a very hungry caterpillar. Some say the hungriest caterpillar there is, I don't know, that's what they say, but you name it, he eats it. Salami, watermelon, a delicious chocolate cake... he eats it all folks, he eats it all'
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A key point missing in a lot of post debate analysis is that Trump’s claim about immigrants eating pets almost perfectly syncs up to the piano in the Peanuts theme song.
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Y’all, raving racist grandpa is crushing it!
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When my creative director asks if I’ve finished the video script: I have concepts of a plan.
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He sounds like a guy yelling at random people on 34th Street with a karaoke speaker
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