bottlecap for president retweeted
I'm not saying Mark Zuckerberg is a better person, but if you changed your name on Facebook to "Italian Mark Zuckerberg" and posted "I send a the calzone into the metaverse! Ohhhh!" he would never see it, and even if he did, he would not care, and would not do anything about it.
bottlecap for president retweeted
Overheard a university student say “Arctic Monkeys were my dad’s favourite band when I was little.” The passage of time is relentless, unfathomable, cruel, and unforgiving.
bottlecap for president retweeted
drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not,
bottlecap for president retweeted
“actually we’ve met before” okay well I don’t remember you. Have you considered being less forgettable and insignificant
bottlecap for president retweeted
queen elizabeth is currently listening to "it's time to go" by taylor swift music.apple.com/gb/album/its…
bottlecap for president retweeted
Me explaining military time: So it goes up to 24 and then it starts again from the beginning
Leonardo DiCaprio: Sounds perfect.
bottlecap for president retweeted
what the fuck is a “love language” do u people know any normal behavior that is not a marketing term from a self help book
bottlecap for president retweeted
Replying to @raynefq
isn’t it messed up, how i’m just dying to be him
bottlecap for president retweeted
i think a big reason i really love getting tattoos is because it’s almost like a way of rewriting the body ive hated for so long into my own version of beauty
bottlecap for president retweeted
Comedians: if you’re not offending someone you’re not doing comedy right
Mitch Hedberg: I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographers fault and that’s extra scary to me because there’s a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside
bottlecap for president retweeted
"biological women" implies the existence of chemical, nuclear, psychological, conventional and guerrilla women
bottlecap for president retweeted
“don't be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall into me” - taylor swift
bottlecap for president retweeted
Also I’m getting a Death Cab tattoo in two weeks 15 year old me would be proud of me






















