Dog

Black people be like I have to walk with a giant stick in case a happy dog tries to lick me .

ordering a kids French 75 because I only want half

whenever I’m taller than a guy, I fix my posture to be even taller

I am super late but I thought it was so pretty

The niggers are coming the niggers are coming or whatever Paul Revere said

peak swag

Women will say they don’t have a rape fetish and then say “I just wish he did this for me without me having to ask”

here’s what I would look like if I were black or chinese

“They don’t have a 13th floor because it’s bad luck” Me knowing damn well hotels have goyim energy harvesters on the 13th floor: “oh no way?”

Tweeting that you’re a virgin is 5 bodies

types of people who freak me out: -ppl who pirate movies. I feel like they smell bad -fat ppl who work in food -ppl who heart react w the literal heart emoji -ppl who use cashapp -ppl who say nothingburger -ppl who speak french but aren’t french -ppl who eat sardines

you guys make me feel like an alien for not caring when famous people die

my dog is sperging out at a homeless man approaching the car for spare change as Clair de Lune peacefully plays in the background #pwnd #cinematic #uhadtobethere

Being a woman is like oh let me slam on my brakes oh wait nothing is there I hallucinated it

Getting stuck in an endless cycle of looking left and looking right before crossing the road