The UK Prime Minister solves the fuel price rises by telling motorists to look at Google Maps to find the cheapest garage. Next week he will solve the housing crisis by reminding everyone that Rightmove exists.

England have a 1-0 lead against Argentina in the World Cup semi-final and were largely in control of the tactical battle. With 30 minutes remaining, the head coach of England who is paid £5 million a year and entrusted with the task of delivering results against elite international opposition, chose to introduce a raft of defensive substitutes and parked the bus. England dropped deep, inviting sustained pressure, severing their own midfield supply lines and sacrificing the pace and threat of their counter-attacks. In the process, they handed Lionel Messi repeated licence to attack at England’s defence. A disastrous decision. It was arguably one of the most self-defeating tactical decisions in the history of the England national team.