hi, i’ll be yr server this evening (@dirtyoldtown) header
hi, i’ll be yr server this evening (@dirtyoldtown) profile picture

hi, i’ll be yr server this evening

@dirtyoldtown

bartender adjacent - @bramblebar @luckyliquorco @lastwordsaloon

 Edinburgh, UK
oldtownalchemy.com/
Joined July 2007
  • Tweets6.8K
  • Following901
  • Followers934
it me
The Onion (@TheOnion) profile pictureThe Onion
@TheOnion13 Oct 2022
Attentive Server Continuously Refills Patron’s Empty Mouth bit.ly/3SX54UZ
Server pouring water into a customer's mouth at a restaurant.

ALT Server pouring water into a customer's mouth at a restaurant.

xitter.cf/GailSimone/status/1536…
Gail Simone 💙💛 (@GailSimone) profile pictureGail Simone 💙💛@GailSimone13 Jun 2022
Raise your hand if you support trans rights. Shout it. Don't let the awful people think they're winning.
y’all are steamed about not being able to watch all the Olympics on the BBC and yet you’re gonna be shocked when this government does the same thing to the NHS
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oh no i did a politics on main
I want something fruity
Morning Brew ☕️ (@MorningBrew) profile pictureMorning Brew ☕️
@MorningBrew29 Jun 2021
Write a horror story for your industry using just four words
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me, going into a Saturday service:
Collider (@Collider) profile pictureCollider
@Collider26 May 2021
J.J. Abrams acknowledges it probably would have been better if they had approached the #StarWars sequel trilogy with a plan: collider.com/jj-abrams-star-…
J.J. Abrams Reflects on 'Star Wars' and When It's Critical to Have a Plan

J.J. Abrams Reflects on 'Star Wars' and When It's Critical to Have a Plan

"I do think that there’s nothing more important than knowing where you’re going.”

collider.com
Started Mass Effect, got past Therum and Noveria and thought “i remember this taking longer” immediately followed by “where did the sun go?”
Sam Maggs (@SamMaggs) profile pictureSam Maggs@SamMaggs16 May 2021
It’s important to note that I’ve played 26 hours of Mass Effect and it came out *checks watch* yesterday
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…that’s why it’s the most-followed Twitter account in IT security
SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity) profile pictureSwiftOnSecurity
@SwiftOnSecurity14 May 2021
Replying to @SwiftOnSecurity
This is the most-followed Twitter account in IT Security and it's just a 24/7 chaos trashfire
an email back about working in events planning got spam filtered and i didn’t catch it until waaayy too late
Jennifer Johnson (@seejenwrite) profile pictureJennifer Johnson@seejenwrite29 Apr 2021
Tell me a decision that changed the trajectory of your life but you CAN'T say choosing your faith, getting married, or having a kid.
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bought a thing in person from somewhere other than a supermarket, what a fucking rush
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hi, i’ll be yr server this evening retweeted
abena (@itsnadine_) profile picture
abena@itsnadine_20 Apr 2021
This you?
Image from abena (@itsnadine_)
Sajid Javid (@sajidjavid) profile pictureSajid Javid
@sajidjavid20 Apr 2021
Justice. Black lives matter. RIP George Floyd.
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a teacher with the same surname as me but to whom i am not related called me “son” onstage during an assembly the entire school was attending
Eileen Mary O’Connell (@i_Lean) profile pictureEileen Mary O’Connell@i_Lean14 Apr 2021
Who’s a teacher that wronged you and you’re STILLL mad about it! NAME NAMES AND NAME THE INCIDENT!
made carbonara without fucking it up, following up by retiring from making carbonara to forever preserve my perfect record
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Playing on a low difficulty level is fine actually
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hi, i’ll be yr server this evening retweeted
The Onion (@TheOnion) profile picture
The Onion
@TheOnion17 Mar 2021
Sympathetic Police Know What It’s Like To Have A Bad Day And Kill 8 People bit.ly/3ePnMwT
Image from The Onion (@TheOnion)
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undercover police officers in UK do not, SHOCKINGLY, have the best record when it comes to not being shitty to women en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/UK_u…

UK undercover policing scandal - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org
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Me: *does one whole shift doing nothing more strenuous than filling some bottles and putting stickers on boxes* My muscles: wtf stop this what’s wrong with you
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me, jumping out of time machine: surprise, all the things you once enjoyed will be tarnished by the shitty actions of the white men who made them past me: what, all of them? me: uh looks like Mario’s safe as far as we know i guess?
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hi, i’ll be yr server this evening retweeted
Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) profile picture
Nish Kumar@MrNishKumar27 Jan 2021
Pretty amazing to say "we did everything we could" when our test and trace system involving us spending billions on a cat called Alvin who walked around town centres with a sign around his neck that said "has anyone got COVID".
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