Debra Franke Writes (she/her)

Why do people over-explain? 1). They've had their reality denied & are trying to be understood. 2). They got hurt in harsh ways & think it was because they didn't explain themselves better. 3). They were/are often ignored. Sending peace as you rest in your explanations.

Stop glorifying the person who keeps going and going. Even when they’re sick, stressed, or going through grief. True strength is in the ability to take a step back so your body can repair and your emotions can process.

It's our 20th Anniversary, and we're celebrating with some great poetry, music, & performances! Thurs June 27th 6:30pm doors; 7:00pm start @tapcreativityon 203 Dundas Street #ldnont Free entry! All details here: tapcreativity.org/events/ant…

just keep going

‘I was only 17. I had just left my parents behind in Lebanon and arrived in the UK. I don’t think I had the emotional resilience and maturity to manage and cope with the circumstances that I was in. And I didn’t have any support, formal/professional, informal or otherwise. I had to find work fast to earn money to survive. The only jobs I could secure were working as a janitor in the morning and as a stock advisor stacking supermarket shelves and filling fridges day and night. I remember waking up one morning. It was cold and dark and raining outside. I missed the 5.00 am bus service to the city centre and had to wait for another hour in the pouring rain for the next service. I got to work late and was drenched. I was scolded by my line manager who constantly complained the floors weren’t clean enough. I then rushed to my second job and found the fridges were all empty and needed filling. So I spent the entire day going in and out of the refrigerated stock room transferring produce from there to the fridges on the shop floor. I accidentally dropped a milk carton and it burst open on the floor causing a huge mess. The milk splashed on a customer and I apologised profusely however they still yelled at me. My line manager had a right go at me afterwards and shouted, ‘Clean it up!’, which I dutifully did. I ended the day and it was dark, cold and raining outside. While I was waiting for the bus, a car passed by and drove over a puddle (deliberately I think) and I was drenched in water yet again. At that moment I couldn’t take it anymore and I started to cry. I then remembered graduation day in Lebanon literally only a couple of months prior. I remember being awarded the plaque for graduating top of my class and the standing ovation I received. I remember basking in the unconditional love that I was immersed in for I was surrounded by my family and friends. I remember how at that moment I felt like anything was possible, that I could even realise my dream of becoming a doctor. I then looked at my situation now, how distant if not far-fetched that dream was, how I couldn’t derive comfort from the immediate presence of my loved ones because they were all so very far away and I didn’t know any people in the United Kingdom which made me cry even louder and harder…’ Extract from ‘Breakthrough. A Story of Hope, Resilience and Mental Health Recovery’ which will be published on April 18th and which can be pre-ordered: linktr.ee/ahankir