Married. Mum of one. Love live comedy🥰. Finally got to see MCR play live in May 2022!! Usually tired and probably in my pyjamas. Bit of a Scatterbrain. Talky.
England. Mostly.
Joined May 2009
- Tweets247K
- Following977
- Followers1.3K
- Likes6.2K
Claire 🦒 retweeted
If the BBC are looking for new presenters who won’t bring them into disrepute may I respectfully suggest they employ more women over 50? We’ve spent a lifetime sorting out other people’s messes, can spot trouble a mile off and have no problem calling it out. You’re welcome.
Claire 🦒 retweeted
Is there a @vizcomic Letter or Top Tip that lives rent-free in your head? EVERY time I'm driving, I think of the person who wrote in to say "Why should I use my indicators? It's none of your business where I'm going"
Claire 🦒 retweeted
BREAKING
Esther McVey’s husband Tory Philip Davis MP in Shipley caught betting against himself in his marginal seat
£8,000 bet on losing his 6,242 majority
He says it’s “nobody’s business”
Just vote both of them out and tell them if it’s our business or not
Tory candidate Philip Davies is latest politician to have bet against himself at election @MrHarryCole reveals, placing an £8,000 bet on losing marginal seat of Shipley.
Claire 🦒 retweeted
“My arm hurts, doctor”
“How painful is it from 1 to 10”
“It’s actually painful all day”
Claire 🦒 retweeted
Yesterday the Police arrested me for unsolicited Spooning.
I wasn't charged, they just held me over night.
Which I loved, by the way.
Claire 🦒 retweeted
Parcel delivery firm DPD have replaced their customer service chat with an AI robot thing. It’s utterly useless at answering any queries, and when asked, it happily produced a poem about how terrible they are as a company. It also swore at me. 😂
Claire 🦒 retweeted
Seems once again there's controversy around the term junior doctor. Nothing junior about fully qualified doctors supervising care of very sick patients.
Proposed new term: Fully Qualified Doctor in Accreditted Training in All Specialist Settings
Or FuQDATASS
Claire 🦒 retweeted
Kids taking the piss because I waited for dog to be in the other room before saying what I’ve got him for Christmas.
Claire 🦒 retweeted
I’ve been selected to help test Lidl's home delivery system.
So far the Kartoffelpuffer & Käsespätzle have arrived but the Wurst is yet to come.
#LunchPun
Claire 🦒 retweeted
It’s not the pot, the porn, or the video games, it’s not too many doors, too few doors, the gender identity of the shooter or a lack of “good guys” with guns.
Dozens of people in Maine are dead right now for one reason…
It’s the guns.
It’s the guns.
It’s the motherfucking guns.
Claire 🦒 retweeted
Just spilt some milk whilst in the middle of chopping onions. Didn't know what to do with myself.
Claire 🦒 retweeted
The Telegraph produces the nonsense that the ‘Anti Brexit crusade is over.’
Apparently everyone is happier with being poorer, everything being more expensive and absolutely no Brexit Benefits.
Simply because a few years have passed.
RT to tell them you aren’t
