A 4,207 capacity token gated prison hosted by @mcbess. Clink Links: https://xitter.cf/t.co/19AZp5z6SL
Joined May 2022
- Tweets1.3K
- Following1
- Followers40.9K
- Likes1.1K
We wondered why the prison smelled of brimstone this morning. Congratulations inmate that’s quite a pull.
Still in shock that I was able to pull the 13th and final devil. @mcbess you’ve outdone as always
Mc's Cel Mates retweeted
took you long enough to show up mfer.
congrats @burningbeard you deserved that burn.
@cel_mates by @mcbess
WARDEN ANNOUNCEMENT: SIT TIGHT IF YOU’RE TRYING TO APPLY DISCOUNTS ON CEL MATES / DUDES GEAR. RICARDO SEARCHING FOR ALTERNATIVE SUPPLIERS. MORE NEWS SOON.
Mc's Cel Mates retweeted
Did you get to mint @cel_mates?
November 22, 2022
Crime Reports sold out in 30 seconds
Within a week Steel Hose Penitentiary opened (Discord)
Mates Began to burn a week later
There was a holder run newspaper
#Shortgate was a thing
Unwelcome packs mass shipped for free to those who were willing to burn early
The timeline was flooded with the world's most comprehensive prison starter pack, gifted free to burners
If you missed it then now you can simply own a dude and have a front row seat to all things @DudesFactory and @mcbess or if you want to relive the best of it, burn a Crime Report.
I'll see you in Steel Hose, inmate. The Canteen is stocked and ready for your perusal.
MOST WANTED MONDAY 🚨
Mark broke into the mayor’s house. Didn’t take valuables—just replaced all lightbulbs with bright white lights and filled the fridge with mousse. Arrested for crimes against feng shui.
Mc's Cel Mates retweeted
@cel_mates gonna watch the cophead finals today?
see you in the yard of Steel Hose Penitentiary at 6pm EST
MOST WANTED MONDAY 🚨
Unrevealed CM Tina faked her own death to avoid paying for 7 years’ worth of Uber eats orders—only to reappear as her own long-lost twin “Sheila.” Neighbours suspected foul play when Sheila ordered the exact same curry and screamed at the same pigeons.
MOST WANTED MONDAY 🚨
Lesley "No Diving" Barnes, notorious fraudster, served 4 years for peddling 'luxury' pools that were basically oversized bin liners. He also sold "self-cleaning" pool noodles—whatever that means.
Legend has it he's now posing as a sad waterslide repairman.
MOST WANTED MONDAY 🚨
Gordon Flett targeted 12 mailboxes in a cul-de-sac, slipping in handwritten postcards with eerie messages, as if from someone the reader had forgotten. One just said “WHY.” A woman cried, unsure why. He stole nothing—but was jailed for burglary of the mind.
MOST WANTED MONDAY 🚨
Jitterbug poured 5L of divine Clos du Temple rosé into warden’s hot tub, called it a “natural biodynamic rosé float,” and swirled himself in like sentient sangria. By the time security arrived, he’d vanished in the steam. Wanted dead or alive. Or dead.
MOST WANTED MONDAY 🚨
Velma Scarrington swapped city meters with fake ones printing quotes like “Time is a debt we pay in coins of regret.” Tourists paid for soul-crushing epiphanies. When the council caught on, she vanished—leaving only existential fines and one confused mayor.
MOST WANTED MONDAY 🚨
Dennis Crankshaft told tourists their tattoos meant “peace and love.” They actually said “ham sandwich” and “Barry smells.” Charged $300 a pop. “If you trust a bloke in shades and a vest that says PENISTENTIARY,” he said, “you deserve it.”
MOST WANTED MONDAY 🚨
Psychic Joe duped Wall Street suits into believing the stars controlled stocks, raking in millions for his “cosmic insights.” Mercury in retrograde? Market crash. Jupiter rising? Buy. The guy could sell any horse shite—always had an answer, always got paid.
The Warden will be issuing extra pastis rations this evening for Death Row Head Honcho @0xbubba_'s chat with @tearsofnormies. 8pm GMT.
Today we have a very very special Space!
Normie Outlaws aaaaand @cel_mates 🔥
Hosted by the legend @MoonFue1 !!
Join us degen!
xitter.cf/i/spaces/1gqGvjzvzZlGB
