what happens next will shock you
Joined November 2016
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christain🍕 retweeted
it's cool that there's a same-sex kiss in Lightyear! that's what animation is for, showing us dope stuff that could never happen in real life
christain🍕 retweeted
i used to write 5-paragraph essays like you wouldnt believe. just absolue intro, point 1, point 2, point 3, closing. changing hearts and minds with every word. now i burn eggs and eat them anyways
christain🍕 retweeted
it's friday night in brooklyn, new york. do you know where your improvisers are?
christain🍕 retweeted
if new york is dead, who's shining that green light across the bay every night towards my lavish west egg estate??
christain🍕 retweeted
Straight up, a random show tn in Brooklyn come by if you’re like fuck it, I’m gonna go to a random show
christain🍕 retweeted
the gym has seemed a little more crowded ever since new years. my guess? the gym is shrinking
christain🍕 retweeted
a paywall prevents me from seeing a recipe for tomato and cheddar toast. very well. I have no choice but to reverse engineer the complex formula, unleashing a chimera so perverse it swallows the world. I laugh to myself. how easily this destruction could all have been avoided.
christain🍕 retweeted
trump: *waking up* wheres joe biden?
surgeon: who do you think gave you the ear 💕
christain🍕 retweeted
at the start of the debate, each candidate will get a marshmallow. if it's still there at the end of the debate, they'll get a second one
