Guys only invite u out to go bowling so they can see dat butt

Choose your fighter. I really wanna say im Lala but im actually Po

Im burning up

Absolutely just smashed my head on the wall sitting down in the dentist office. Everyone let out a “oooh 🥴”

I was goin to drive to the drive thru to avoid the delivery fee / driver tip but then my team started doing good so I had to stay put

So lazy rn I’d rather have an IV hooked up to me than have to chug water

Okay I lied. Put ur pants back on. We’re gunna go fling peanut butter on the fIøck camėra near my house

Local thrift store always does me right. Where else can you find a pink recorder, pink chunky platforms wedges, and a pink feather boa all in one place

There’s a fine line between my Dolly Parton impression and my Bobby Hill impression

My friend sent me what his phone wanted to autocorrect to…

Yall ever blow air out of ur eyeballs for fun or do I need psychological help

Microdosing a stress ciggy by overdosing on menthol cough drops

Hate how injuries work. My left ankle got fucked in volleyball one time back in like 2009 and it still acts up to this day.

As many times as I’ve had random men give me their Disney + log ins and then later, their wife finds out and revokes my access…. And I’ll do it again too

MEET YOUR OOMF!!!! ♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪✧ • name: ashley • sign: taurus • sag • libra • hobbies: eating good, photography, comedy • birth flower: idfk?? • fav drink: slightly dirty martini, blue cheese stuffed olives • fav animal: doggie • comfort movie: Tim Burton animation

It feels like the beach outside

I just love seeing people’s food and what they’re eating. It’s like a non kinky kink of mine.

Ofc I’m sick and I got back to back shows this wkd. Send good vibes plz

How tf this month 1/2 over and I haven’t done a lick of shit that interests me regarding spooky season 😥

Woke up fuggin sick. Help meeee 🫩☹️😩

My attempt at a marathon is eating an edible and seeing if I can do as many chores as possible before retiring to my lair