Writer. Obsessed with sharks, otters, and ferrets. Fortean Times enthusiast. Has never been able to successfully convert someone into liking Matcha.
Springfield, MO
Joined May 2009
- Tweets2.8K
- Following47
- Followers53
- Likes2.3K
Paula Witte retweeted
the human is upset. that a piece of my hair. was in their food. that is called a garnish. there is no need to make a scene
Paula Witte retweeted
as u start 2 undo my buttons u realize where you know my face from. the book in the attic. oh no
Paula Witte retweeted
Remember to keep all texts emotionally woke. If you have to cancel a play date due to safer at home, text something like, “are you in a safe headspace to accept disappointing information?” If you’re encouraging a neighbor to accept science and mask up, text, “fuck your feelings.”
Paula Witte retweeted
32% symptomatic pos. rate, very concerning! (From 4%) 4 pediatric Covid inpatients yesterday. Age…a few weeks old to 18 y/o
If you are making wildly disparaging comments about the vaccine, and have no public health expertise, you may be responsible for someone’s death. Shut up.
Paula Witte retweeted
Josh, let me explain Capitalism to you. Sometimes people decide not to do business with you. It's their decision. You know the whole "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" thing ? In your case it happens to be "No Principles, No Honesty, No Book" thing. Feel free to Self-Publish
Paula Witte retweeted
if everyone needs a place to chill out and escape from the chaos remember there’s always the park full of man-eating dinosaurs, Jurassic Park
Paula Witte retweeted
144 Covid inpatients in system, 36 non-infectious, 118 Cox SGF, 23 on ventilators. 302 deaths. This is probably the most lethal so far. Resist the temptation to gather, please distance & wear masks, don’t get your science from Facebook memes, tv talking heads, or politicians.
Paula Witte retweeted
I’m giving away $1,000 tomorrow at 6 pm to someone who retweets this. You have to be following me so I can dm you, BUT you can unfollow as soon as I announce who won, although I don’t know why you’d want to unfollow. This account is awesome.
Paula Witte retweeted
The youngsters from TikTok are flooding the #MillionMAGAMarch hashtag with pictures of pancakes. I love them so much. 🤣
Paula Witte retweeted
Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA," NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye" suddenly charting for some reason. bit.ly/3n6hSZ6
Paula Witte retweeted
Congratulations to President-elect Joe Biden & Vice President-elect Kamala Harris!
Paula Witte retweeted
Covid relief sitting on your desk for 157 days.
