lol

Is it a conflict of interest to have a service like @BeyondTrust allow-listing itself? I feel like that’s how Skynet became self aware and we ended up having to suffer through that 4th terminator movie, salvation, because of it.

Closing all apps and saving your work before leaving for the day can have tremendous impact on your mental health. By tremendous impact I mean you can avoid a call to the help desk for when we choose to execute an unscheduled reboot of your device for ‘security purposes’

***interviewing for an entry level help desk position *** Me: “what’s the #1 customer service rule?” Applicant: “don’t put your hand in your butt before working on their machine” Me: Applicant: Me: “alright well you’re hired”

I’m going to print that out and post it on the help desk wall.

Networking is the most heinous job because the burden of proof is completely reversed. The claim of “it must be the network” does not have to prove it IS the network having issues. The claim just has to be made, and then the network team has to prove it’s NOT the network.

Caller: “can I get a new password, the one you gave earlier rhymes with my old one and also my outlook has stopped working. Also I’d like a new keyboard with one of those mouse balls in the middle.” Helpdesk:

There are 9 offices in my corner of the building. 2 of them are occupied today. There are 20 cubes in my corner of the building. 3 of them are occupied today. Yet somehow, the vending machines in my corner of the building ARE OUT OF #MOUNTAINDEW AND #NUTTYBUDDY’S

I invented a new excuse today: Boss: “your managed print budget request numbers were short, look at this invoice.” HelpDesk: “Whoa…well my (CoPilot’s) numbers were way off. Sorry about that.” #copilot #microsoft

LOL This is what happens when you call one too many times for a password reset.

MAYBE this is the wake up call users needed. But if they get $6.45 paid to them in a class action lawsuit they’ll learn nothing…it even incentivizes them to go sign up for something else and hope they get hacked.

I’ve been saying this for years. It’s almost always the users fault. techcrunch.com/2024/01/03/23…

If you have a college degree, want to develop a severe junk food addiction and willing to make under $20 an hour for the next 5 years hit me up!

Imagine acquiring a computer operating a single software using embedded oracle java that could cost you $5 mil…

Oracle can audit and charge a roughly $10 a month per employee fee backdated to 2019 if you have one supported version of Java installed in your enterprise that’s not supporting an oracle product. 10k employees would = almost $5mil penalty.

Seriously? That team gets a 6 month celebration? What are they even celebrating? “Oh we sent 430 pointless tickets to the help desk last year” Get bent

Happy SysAdmin day to all of the SysAdmins that take the responsibility of updating software on the network instead of just taking credit for it after the help desk does it for them. #SysAdminDay #notbuyingyoutacobelltodayday

Imagine 30,000 employees, 90% of which hate the IT department, and 75% of which require medical assistance whenever anything changes, wake up one morning to find their calendar location moved and nobody told them it was happening or gave them an opportunity to opt out.

😂😂 thank you!

I can’t think of a single thing…ever…that’s caused more chaos than this. This is y2k big in the help desk world.