Bill O'Zimmerman

The Boy's new record, 26-1/2"

Greg Abbott after losing the election, but realizing he’ll probably get access to Pornhub back.

"Yes, I'd like a potato, bacon, egg and cheese taco, please..." "So one Talarico with bacon?" "Uhm, I... gue..."

This "Boston" song by a Stella Lefty is just too weird. First, I thought it was a little boy singing the song the first few times I heard it. Then she's saying "I like it when you're nice to me" as if the dude's normally a huge prick.

Your mother fuckers forgot to ask Jerry Jeff what the coasting record was!!!

Oh, you’re reading it. Joe Kelly interviewing for pitching coach.

Albert Pujols will be interviewing for the Astros manager position tomorrow, followed by Mike Fiers and John Smoltz.

Dan Patrick's probably gunna go back to doing Houston radio now, where he'll live-broadcast his gender-affirming surgery to a listening audience of seven.

There are some really good takes on here this morning. There are some really bad takes on here this morning.

Dem’s in Texas have their work cut out for them in holding onto this. Republicans the same in trying to flip it. Interesting times in Texas.

You can only throw up the Dan Patrick’s and Kenny Paxtons of Texas so much before the voters get tired of hitting send on the same ole greasy bastards. If only John Cornyn knew how to make a proper brisket.

Too many angles to this Texas election even get into. This is bananas!

🎵swingin’🎵

Saw someone post on the community facebook page last night, "when does the polling places clothes!" and I'm like "uhm they open Wednesday morning plz wait until Wednesday morning."

Guys if you haven't gone out to vote yet because you're just unsure of who or what to vote for then you are the only one who gets to complain.