Kimball to Loop…When I Feel Like It
Chicago
Joined April 2014
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The Brown Line retweeted
Looking like a Sunday morning in @TheBrownLine all up in here
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I’m sorry I didn’t crush his creeper foot in the door. You have nothing to apologize for.
#cta #chicago #NotThatKindaFootlongSubway
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I regret nothing!
Go ahead and hide my recent silence, Twitter. That’ll show me what happens when I don’t offend people every single moment of my existence.
#CTA #BrownIsntDown #DeboostedButNotForgotten
I ask my riders to give priority seating to anyone having difficulty standing, unless they wanna be on crutches next.
#CTA #KathyBatesStyleHobbleYouJerks #Chicago
This is what it looks like to sit in the Priority Seating seat and “not notice” the woman with 2 crutches hobble by. She had to walk 3 seats in before someone got up and a woman yelled “CMON GUYS give her a seat”. @cta @TheBrownLine #Shame #Chicago
When I said Chicago rush hour was like a giant dumpster fire it wasn’t an elevator pitch, guys.
#CTA #CallMeNetflix #StillSearsTower
Uh oh. Big fuel spill on Lower Wacker this morning at the Willis Tower loading dock. Dump truck hit a pole, 80+ gallons spilled. Everyone taking the Wacker/Franklin entrance from EB (Congress) Ida B Wells Dr forced to use Franklin or Upper Wacker instead.
5
Either @ChiPartyAunt’s fumes are more potent than usual, or Twitter is derailing my legacy by failing me so I can’t fail more of you.
But if I’m not tripping balls of sabotage, you left me. Doors open on the indignant right at How Very Dare You!
#CTA #CTAFails #INeedValidation
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I set myself on fire. I don’t care about the cold. Or time, Canada Goose divas, that angry ghost at Sedgwick...I’ve had this job 111 years-“contracting” never freezes my pension track, Rahm. Don’t forget Snowpocalypse ‘14. Sedgwick Ghost hasn’t.
#CTA #PolarVortex2019 #Chicago
❄️ #PolarVortex2019: Crews set fires to keep train tracks from contracting as Chicago faces record low temperatures
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Found my spirit animal. What? Spirit animals don’t have to be alive. I’m frozen, dead inside, &smell like the ghost of meat snacks past. Now welcome Steak-umm by sacrificing your single seat during rush hour to him alone. Delays eventually end, but beef stains are forever.
#CTA
gather around twitter for a tale, my beeflings. long before any of you were born and I was just a young frozen beef sheet, a darkness was spread across the lands by the wicked savory sorceress of onyx mountain. she was a cut above the rest and controlled the 5 known kingdoms
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I never realized how many of you deleted your original tweets over the last few years. I thought we had something special, but you’re as unpredictable and cold as I am. I taught you well.
#CTA #Chicago #TheAudacity
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You can always count on spending many a shitty hour with me. Don’t worry about the technical podcast stuff-I’ve been recording you guys for years.
#CTA #Chicago #AlmostFamous
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1
Time to go full Kathy Bates in “Misery” mode. It’s better she learn the rules now.
#CTA #Chicago #Hobbled
“I’m getting off the train!”
-Lady yelling on her phone, sitting in her seat, as we’re not moving between stops @TheBrownLine
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Now you know how I feel about humans strapping ice skates to their feet and stepping onto IMMINENT SLIPPERY DEATH RINKS like it’s not insane.
#CTA #Chicago #SafetyPatrol
L conductor just told us we have to go “stop and go” around the North Avenue track curve because it’s clearly iced over AND OMG HOW IS THIS SAFE?!?!?! @cta @CTAFails @TheBrownLine
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The Brown Line retweeted
Happy #RideTheWindDay! Sure you could para sail or hang glide to celebrate but in reality you will probably just fart on the train. @TheBrownLine