Host of @theRTSpod, member of Canadian Comedy Award winning @CrushImprov, lover of dogs, hater of... Murder?
Ottawa
Joined May 2009
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Tim Anderson retweeted
Listen @UberEats, you GOTTA be less thirsty with your push notifications. I look at a restaurant for 30 seconds, then 2 minutes later I get one of your "please come back and order food!!" notifs. YA THIRSTY.
Tim Anderson retweeted
In the same vein as Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer, when someone flies off the handle we should be calling them an Explosive Joseph.
This is my decree.
Tim Anderson retweeted
Listen, from now on NO ONE REFERS TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING. No he, she, you, it, ours, that - have... Teacher made... Teacher's self clear?!
Tim Anderson retweeted
It doesn't matter if protesters interrupt his meal because Brett Kavanaugh believes dinner begins at reservation
Tim Anderson retweeted
Who among us hasn't broken into a home to take a bath? RT if you think police went too far this time. xitter.cf/ABC/status/99480855745…
Woman arrested for stalking after allegedly sending man 65,000 texts, breaking into his home and taking a bath. abcn.ws/2KPpInw
Tim Anderson retweeted
Coven of witches circulating petition asking Trump to cease and desist all uses of the term witch hunt. "I think we're all sick of it," said Petulance, an Iowa-based witch who specializes in child abduction. "This association to Trump gives us all a bad name."
Tim Anderson retweeted
A leaked answer from Trump's recent mental assessment reveals an interesting answer from the math portion. Trump writes:
5 - 7 = fake 2
A source close to the president has told us "President Trump is fed up with all the fake twos" xitter.cf/realDonaldTrump/status…
Tim Anderson retweeted
There should be a Twitter account that tweets horrific Trump scandals we've already forgotten on the hour, like:
A man died in a fire at Trump Tower this April, possibly because he didn't have the sprinklers Trump lobbied against installing.
Tim Anderson retweeted
Trump allies and legal team upset about the potential #Mueller interview, calling it a "perjury trap". In other news, O.J. Simpson still very upset about his 1994 murder trap.
Tim Anderson retweeted
"Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency."
When asked for comment, President Trump stated, "That doesn't sound like something I'd say. Also, I've accomplished more than any president ever in their first year." xitter.cf/CNN/status/99145823200…
EXCLUSIVE: Dr. Harold Bornstein, who served as Donald Trump's physician for more than three decades, says Trump dictated the glowing health letter in 2015 cnn.it/2rjJD5h
Tim Anderson retweeted
#CarterPage for sure murders for fun, right? That's not just me getting that vibe?
Tim Anderson retweeted
(+44): The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Tim Anderson retweeted
Woman Who Drinks 6 Cups Of Coffee Per Day Trying To Cut Down On Blue Light At Bedtime trib.al/e7Pbm4o
Tim Anderson retweeted
Register for courses @ the Academy before this Saturday and use EARLYBIRD at checkout to save 10% on registration! academy.crushimprov.com
Tim Anderson retweeted
What’s "The Harold"? Learn about this advanced Improv technique with @CrushImprov’s Tim Anderson starting March 8! bit.ly/1yQRA0d
Tim Anderson retweeted
Tonight at 8 at Heart & Crown, SEMI-FINAL night #2 feat. @kristineshadid and @ThatTimAnderson, hosted by AL & Dan!
Tim Anderson retweeted
TONIGHT at the Heart&Crown in the Market, our last Quarterfinal Round feat. @ThatTimAnderson @zacattack_42 and more! #btt #bouttime