joan

i'm not a violent dog， i don't know why i bite.

i killed a plant once because i gave it too much water. lord， i worry that love is violence.

my sadness is not a cut for you to bandage and it is not a bruise for you to kiss. i am not waiting for you to save me， i am hoping you will love me while i rescue myself.

i wish you stayed but i don't think you'd like how i've changed.

you wrap your name tight around my ribs and keep me warm. i was born for you.

goodnight. i've never forgotten you.

so i'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes, all that i know is i don’t know how to be something you miss. never thought we’d have our last kiss, never imagined we’d end like this. your name forever the name on my lips.

may we meet again， in a better life.

i've gotten so good about not flinching at the sound of your name that people don't know i'd still throw myself mouth-open into the ocean for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.

try to be gentle when you are ripping me apart