@Talking_Teddy

alcoholic father of 3, underpaid gigolo, fitness anarchist, game enthusiast. snapchat: Alex_TheAlky IG: Alex_The_Alky GT: Alex The Alky follow me: AlexTheAlky

 Tucson
favstar.fm/users/Talking_Teddy/recent
Joined April 2012
  • Tweets15.7K
  • Following4.4K
  • Followers5K
171Media
[Zombies and Boys in the Hood] "No really doe, can you really git da virus from lettin em suck on yo dick? Ya'll just tryna scare me."
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I'm just trying to outlive you fuckers.
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If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't. I'd sleep more.
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I'm at my most heroic when I protect my girlfriend from fatty foods by eating them to remove temptation.
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No I'm not wearing a brown bag over my face because I'm ugly. I'm wearing it because I'm embarassed to be seen with you.
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If you look close you'll notice that my beard is made of Mashed Potatoes.
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People without Alcohol are so Bitter.
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Thought a new car would get me chicks. Turns out I'm just ugly.
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I have a cold. My wife really gets the wrong idea when I've got so many crumpled up tissues next to my bed.
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McDonald's are the only Fries that have a time limit.
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You're entitled to your own opinions, even if you're an idiot and always wrong.
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How many calories does trying to find a comfortable way to lay in bed burn?
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馃憟 Orally abusing beer bottles daily
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You know you're an alcoholic when you've got your own reserved Bar stool.
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"No regrets" my ass. I've got a shit ton of stuff I wish I could do over.
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You're playing a dangerous game trying to wake me up. It better be for free beer, or tacos.
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Twitter logic: For every Follower, there is an Unfollower.
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Million dollar idea: A remote controlled mini Beer Fridge.
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So high I ate a pizza without cooking it first.
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You guys do understand that I moved to @AlexTheAlky right? Still me, less followers.
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