Well, almost Halloween, so I guess it's time to buy candy.........to replace the two bags of candy we already finished.
Dogs will maintain eye contact with you while licking their own genitals please stop acting like humans are the dominant species.
What's Irish and stays outside all year?
......Patty O'Furniture
It's ok if you need to block me after that. I understand.
My robot vaccuum just got trapped in the legs of the barstool and this is reason 76543578 I'm not super worried about SkyNet.
Wisecracking Blonde retweeted
Friendly reminder that most of the discourse you see on Twitter is caused by an algorithm to make you angry/emotional
Somebody should tell the people on LinkedIn that not every situation is a life lesson. Unless the lesson is you're a dillweed.









