Perpetual GSU grad student researching science communication & climate change. Comedy & pop culture junkie. UCF Alum. Recovering Florida Man.

Georgia, USA
Joined November 2012
There's no such thing as the "unexplainable" - only the "unexplained". The difference is time, evidence, and critical thinking...
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For 32 years I’ve heard “the future of US Men’s soccer is bright” after we lose close games or, like tonight, embarrass ourselves in front of the world and I just want to know when the fuck we should expect it to be bright? Because that was a damn clown show. #USMNT #worldcup
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Professor Hank retweeted
The most interesting part of the red card saga isn't the ruling. It's how differently Americans and Europeans process the idea that they might have been wronged. Europeans are fundamentally different from Americans in one particular way: they expect life to be aggravating and at times unfair. It's just a fact of moving through the world. I joke that in Europe, the customer is always wrong. You didn't read the fine print. The only pharmacy in town is closed every other Tuesday for three hours, and even if the times weren't posted, that's still your problem. Too bad if you want the bill, because the waiter's on his union-mandated half-hour smoke break, and you're just going to have to wait. To quote the great Mark Knopfler: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. There's something freeing in that. Things are less in your control, so there's less angst in managing your expectations. In America, things couldn't be more different. We simply can't accept a wrong left unrighted. The flight attendant sneezed handing you a drink on your one-hour flight? 15,000 frequent flyer miles. Didn't like your appetizer? A replacement is on the way, and the whole course comes off the bill. There's a reason our interstates are lined with trial lawyer billboards. Europeans have turned complaining into a continental pastime with no expectation that the universe owes them a remedy for their grief. You gripe about the train being late, your friends nod solemnly and everyone goes back to their apéro. In America, we launch a full-blown investigation of the train system, sue the government (and its contractors) that allowed for the tardiness and hold a Congressional hearing on the state of national infrastructure. So to an objective observer, the red card shouldn't have happened, and VAR was a travesty. To Americans, our star player shouldn't be unfairly banned from a match we couldn't afford to lose for a card he so obviously didn't deserve. Who cares that FIFA used a little-used reversal to fix it. Who cares that other people are mad about it. We. Were. Wronged. It was unjust. It must be corrected. We would accept nothing less. Europeans waxing poetic about the sanctity of the game are, of course, talking about a governing body whose last tournament host was decided via confirmed cash bribes — one that imposed dress codes on women, shrugged off widespread allegations of modern slavery and reconfigured the entire tournament calendar to suit the host country. Which is exactly the point. If you've made peace with all of that, at least enough to watch the tournament four years later, a probationary suspension isn't actually a scandal. Maybe that's the real divide. Over millennia, Europeans have made peace with being the bug. Americans have never once considered it, and apparently, we're not about to start now.
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Professor Hank retweeted
After major World Cup refereeing blunders cost the #USMNT in 2002, 2006, 2010, and 2017, it’s about time something contentious went our way.
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Professor Hank retweeted
For anyone new around here… 12 years ago we player Belgium in the Round of 16 & Chris Wondolowski missed a sitter to win in the 92nd and I haven’t stopped thinking about it… We go on to lose in extra time. We need revenge 🇺🇸🇧🇪
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Professor Hank retweeted
“The reflecting pool is open and everyone is having a wonderful time.”
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The call from the Big 12 offices to the Officials has been made. BYU is going to be allowed to hold the rest of the game.
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Professor Hank retweeted
Who made this? 😂
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Professor Hank retweeted
A lot of people are portraying USAID as some sort of bastion of looney DEI excesses. Let’s take a look at what the sudden arresting of their operation is doing to global health. Please read the thread (my thread, not Ryan James’):
About 99% of Americans had no idea what USAID was 30 seconds ago and if they had known they'd demand it be closed years ago. Every type of wasteful federal project imaginable came out of that useless institution. This is not the hill to die on that Democrats think it is
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Because the media is already getting everything as wrong as they possibly can, let's go over what actually happened with Colombia yesterday. Under Biden/Harris, Colombia accepted more than 400 deportation flights, 120 just in 2024 alone. These were normal commercial planes. 1/
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Professor Hank retweeted
Start a fire> put it out > take credit for putting it out. I’m glad we all see this coming a mile away
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Professor Hank retweeted
Hannibal Buress told a joke so good it put Bill Cosby in prison
Imagining telling a joke so bad you change who the president is gonna be
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This will actually cost American jobs and make America more dependent on foreign technology companies. Both parties are not the same.
BREAKING: I asked @SpeakerJohnson if he’ll try to repeal the CHIPS Act if Trump wins and they have control of Congress. “I expect that we probably will.” @RepWilliams responds: “I will remind him night and day how important the CHIPS Act is.” #NY22 @CitrusTVNews 🚨
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Professor Hank retweeted
Trump is telling us what he will do as president. He was given absolute power by the Supeme Court so nothing will stop him. Except you. #vote
Trump on Liz Cheney: "Let's put her with a rifle standing there with 9 barrels shooting at her. Let's see how she feels about it. You know, when the guns are trained on her face."
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Professor Hank retweeted
Joe Biden is not a candidate for president. Kamala Harris is a candidate for president. Tonight she said if she wins, she’ll always listen to Trump supporters and give them a seat at the table. Donald Trump is a candidate for president. He said Harris supporters are the enemy from within who he might use the military against. 7 days left.
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ESPN discussing Florida's remaining schedule at the end of this Mississippi St game and pointed out the October 5th matchup with @UCF_Football will be no easy task, especially with @rjharvey07 - "must see TV"
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Current mood after America being really extra for the past 8 days. #Biden #VoteBlue #DemocracyIsOnTheBallot #Project2025
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Professor Hank retweeted
2024 Spring Game Helmets Designed by the pediatric patients at the Orlando Health Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children 🎨 ucfknights.com/FBHelmets
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In three days he will return… for the galvanized screws he forgot
Guess who I saw at Lowe’s today.
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The SEC being absolutely obliterated by mid-majors across the first round a day after Sankey declared those leagues shouldn’t be allowed in to make room for more “competitive” teams is the greatest evidence for karma I have ever seen
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Replying to @Sublime_Knight
When this guy came into the game, I knew it was over for us. He obviously made a deal with the devil. #UCF #UCFBasketball #Bedazzled #GKCO
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