People are surprised they build a life of their own to then realise they cornered themselves in routines that are going to keep themselves alone. And the person who would supposedly join them have not contributed much if anything to the edifice, so it is harder to build investment, shared history and last but not least meaning to a union. So not only do people get the older, close to mid life stage individuals who are run down emotionally from all of the effort they undertook by themselves to get there, but the energy reeks of desperation, so for all of the tangible wins, it feels like an intangible L getting with that person.