Crooks

Hot take, and this one is for my close friends. I know some of you haven’t forgotten that I lost my dad. But I also feel like, after a while, people forget to remember. The check-ins reduce. The awareness fades. Life moves on for everyone else, which is fair tbh. It’s not a personal thing so that’s normal. But whe I decline invites and people ask, “Why aren’t you coming? What happened?” I’m always a bit stunned. Like… take a wild guess? Everything is still fresh. I lost a parent. Someone actually died in my life this year. It may not feel that deep to you, but it is to me. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood. Sometimes I don’t have the capacity. And yes, in an ideal world, you’d still be checking in, because grief doesn’t expire (mine isn’t even up to 8 months). 💀 And when people say things like, “You carry grief well,” I honestly don’t know what that means. How exactly am I supposed to carry it? Loudly? Quietly? Performatively? Just because I’m not always talking about it or posting about it doesn’t mean it’s not heavy. This wasn’t a random loss. This was my dad. A parent. My person. So, yeah. 🫠