@NeighborGrumpy
 Next Door
favstar.fm/users/NeighborGrumpy/recent
Joined September 2013
  • Tweets1.8K
  • Following633
  • Followers771
32Media
Wife gave me a "blow job coupon" for my birthday, but apparently Rachel from marketing doesn't take coupons
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Of course you're gifted, son. We definitely wouldn't have paid for you
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Angry Neighbor retweeted
C’est La Vie@Robert_Beau5 Dec 2014
I only proof read at the liquor store.
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"Hey do you have to work today?" - assholes who don't have to work today
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No baby you're the only girl I've slept with all the other girls kept me up all night long
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Knowing when to say when is half the bottle
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Do you, Karen, take David the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?
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Buy one Oprah, get Winfrey.
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Angry Neighbor retweeted
Carrie@TheCareBare22 Nov 2013
People who leave alcohol at your house are the real heroes.
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This exists
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Just put in the nice tree swing. Can't wait for the fucking spring
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Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
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Angry Neighbor retweeted
Andy H.@AndyAsAdjective24 Jun 2013
You gotta hand it to him. Otherwise, we can't finish this relay race.
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Angry Neighbor retweeted
__brookeivy@brookeivy3 Mar 2014
Wait, 12 years a slave isn't about marriage?
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Angry Neighbor retweeted
Jay@DirtMcTurd10 Dec 2014
[Giraffes at gym] "What do you want to work on today?" Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet
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Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won't fix... Kid: mfflr..frrrr..strnnn
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Angry Neighbor retweeted
Sean Leahy@thepunningman28 Nov 2014
I've got a magic dog. He's a Labracadabrador.
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How to eat French fries: 1) Eat all the good ones. 2) Leave the yucky ones and feel superior. 3) Wait 5 minutes. 4) Eat all the yucky ones.
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Angry Neighbor retweeted
Marcmywords@Marcmywords220 Feb 2015
If love is a battlefield than this trip to the mall was Gettysburg.
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Angry Neighbor retweeted
Marcmywords@Marcmywords225 Nov 2014
You seem like the kind of guy that edits Wikipedia.
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