When you're healing, you need people around you who are secure enough to cheer for your growth, not resent it. Insecure people often compare themselves to you and feel threatened by your progress. They'll turn your healing into a competition and take it personally when they can't measure up. It's not because they're bad people, but because they're battling their own struggles. In this season of your life, you need to be surrounded by those who can celebrate your wins without feeling like they're losing. Protect your peace and allow yourself to grow without guilt. You deserve that 💯

Narcissists single out people with trauma and abandonment wounds and then emotionally abuse them until they snap. Then they accuse them of madness and play the victim, so others bully and blame them too.

The most manipulative people are the ones who smile at you while making you doubt yourself. They get into your mind, stay calm as you unravel, and then call you unstable. They keep quiet enough to seem innocent, slowly wearing you down in ways no one notices not even you. Pay attention to who they are

Hey guys, lets talk! Whose got a Substack? I've officially joined. By the grace of God tomorrow I'm going to be sharing my first article. Anyone got any tips to run a successful page? How many articles do you post a week/month? Is there a best time to post? For the people that subscribe for content, what do you expect for your money? 🌟 If you like my post join me on Substack where I will be writing original articles on my most engaged posts weekly starting from tomorrow. Share your profile and tell me what you do on there? substack.com/@narcdecoder?ut…

Growing up, I didn't have a safety net. No family to call when things fell apart. No one to catch me when I got it wrong. I had to learn everything the hard way, alone, while sitting in a house full of people who shared my blood and never once felt like home. Nobody tells you what that actually costs you. Not just growing up, but for the rest of your life. I wrote about it. What it takes from you, and why it makes you an easy target for the wrong people later. New on Substack: "The Support System I Never Had." narcdecoder.substack.com/p/t…

Nobody writes about this part. 😢 There's plenty about the scapegoat child. There's plenty about going no contact. What there isn't much of is the version where you were the scapegoat, and you still love your mother, and you believe she still loves you. That's the one people go quiet about. Because the moment you say it out loud, you get sorted into a category. Either you haven't done the work, or you're minimising, or you're still in the fog. Nobody says: yes, that happens, and it's harder than the clean version. So let me say it. 🗣 The love was real. So was the harm. Neither one cancels the other. Most recovery content asks you to choose. Decide she never loved you and the whole thing resolves she's a narcissist, the warmth was manipulation, walk away clean. That framing works for some people. For a lot of us it's just false, and building a recovery on something false doesn't hold with me. If your mother genuinely loves you and genuinely made you carry what the family couldn't look at, then you don't get the clean story. You get the complicated one. And the complicated one is the one you actually have to live in. You can't grieve someone who's alive and loves you. Ordinary loss has a shape. There's a before and an after. People bring food. There's a day where you're allowed to fall apart, and a slow permission to rebuild. This has no shape at all. The mother you needed isn't coming, and the mother you have still rings you. You're mourning something while it's still in the room. There's no ritual for that, no date in the calendar, no one to tell. You just carry it while everyone assumes you're fine, because look you've still got her. The warmth makes you doubt your own memory. If she'd been cruel every single day, you'd trust yourself. You'd have a straight line and you could point at it. Instead every memory of harm has a kind one sitting right next to it. She defended you once. She was proud of you once. She showed up when it counted, that one time. And so you spend years running the trial again, prosecution and defence and jury, trying to reach a verdict on your own childhood. That isn't me being confused or dramatic. That's what inconsistent care does to a person's ability to trust their own account. The kindness isn't the evidence that it didn't happen. The kindness is why you can't be sure it did. She can love you and still need you to carry it. This is the part that took me longest to accept, and it's the part that actually helps me the most. In a family that can't face itself, someone has to hold what nobody will look at. That role gets assigned. It usually lands on the one who sees clearly and won't perform the story not the weakest, the one who threatens the arrangement. Being loved doesn't exempt you from being assigned. Those two things run on separate tracks. Which means the question you've been asking for years: Does she actually love me? Is not the question that unlocks anything. She might. Fully. It didn't stop the role. Once you stop trying to settle the love question, you can finally look at the role question, and that's the one you can do something about.

A narcissist uses your trust to betray you. Such a wicked act of manipulation.

Narcissists are some of the strangest people. They will go around telling stories to their flying monkeys that you were the “jealous one” while they were busy cheating on you. “Bitter” because they emotionally abused you and “crazy” because you caught onto their lies!

Narcissists break you in private, then tell everyone you're broken. They push you to react, then call you unstable. They create chaos, then label you crazy. It's not random, it's strategic in preparation for the final discard.

Your body rejects those who you are not meant to spend time with! All you have to do is listen. Do you feel uneasy? Do you feel safe? Your aura picks up on energies faster than your logical mind. Listen ✨️