Friends, I bring you good news: A THREAD. Good news to a Job Seeker; Good news to an Aspiring Entertainer or Artist; Good news to the community. I have always dreamed of helping a soul or two realise their dream and grow out of the tough ghettos. My personal experience always...

My office today… Isaac Weds Cossy… a Teso-Rwanda Affair… and Your Truly is the best at handling cross-culture weddings. An Etesot man travelled all the way to Kigali for love. Now I admit, these Banya…Nkore/kiga/rwanda women will finish Teso men and Northerners😂

So, @PoliceUg… what is this thing about charcoal? How then should I transport charcoal for home use. Or, is charcoal use officially banned in Uganda? If it is, what alternatives does an Ugandan have, in a country where electricity is expensive and unstable, and gas is totally a no, financially? What advice to you give?

Napoleone, Dr. Hillary, Salvado. Calling upon you all…to support the less privileged child in Teso…

Sherry Plains (pic above Wiññie Nwagi) was one of our trainees at @EYOTAB_. Sherry Plains (real name Sharon Amuge) trained in Acting but later asked to add Music to her training, which we allowed. After graduating from our Youth Empowerment project, Sharon was recruited into Soroti’s ‘Da Peak Band,” and she later hit studio to record some songs, which have gained good airplay on the Teso radios and earned her some performances. Today there’s a poster where Sharon will share stage with the much celebrated Winnie Nwagi @FirebbyUg this December. At @EYOTAB_, we are filled with pride.

Anytime now, we're footing from Ntinda to Seeta to see our girlfriends and we shall arrive like this. If the girlfriends send us away, it's okay. Man shall not die because he didn't get some...didn't get some money to afford fuel at 7k a litre😅

Situation in FortPortal this morning after the Batoro tasted some Teso liquor from Soroti. Grandmothers are seeing things that are talked about in the Old Testament, e.g the Flood of Noah, the burning bush of Moses and the Migration of the Bantu😃

Dear @MestilHotel, when you find some free time, do for us a video showing how to pronounce ‘Mestil.’ We are tired of sounding like villagers as some people say “Meh-steel’ and others say ‘Meh-stall’ while slay queens say, “Mee-steel.” Our potential girlfriends are now using the pronunciation of your hotel to determine whether we are Kampala dudes or we just came from Butambala, Bulemeezi or Kyegegwa. I thank you.

Batooro tonight after tasting the Teso Alcohol (ajon) brought by their new queen, Amoding Rebecca Abwooli😂

Wama @_papawere … did I lie? 😂

The Iteso have supplied Toro with a very beautiful Queen Consort. All Hail Queen Amoding Rebecca Rukidi, the young aunty of Napoleone Ehmah with whom they used to do homework together. She helped him with SST while he helped her with Mathematics😃 Napoleone also helped her with the PhD where she got a first class. Napoleone is now, therefore, welcome to Toro kingdom anytime without needing appointments. I thank you😎

Upcountry hotels 😂😂🙌🏾🙌🏾

…and by 3:10AM, I had not yet performed. The body was knackered. I started asking myself if there aren’t other important things I would be doing with life😃

Upcountry shows… They hire you to perform but by 2:00AM you have not yet performed…old age is disturbing, and you want a bed 😃

MOSES MATOVU: What a Story! What a Man! ——————————————- ~Preamble: It would be foolish for any man to laugh at Matovu or mock the circumstances around his death.~ You see, a woman's succulent thighs have given man so much pleasure and ecstasy over the years but therein also lies a graveyard of many careers, and lives. Man has ruled over fellow man, empires have dominated for centuries, man has reached the moon, man has made machines talk... but down there, in a woman's slippery nethers, the mighty have fallen. Man has mastered just about everything...but has surrendered his power and might in a moment of weakness, to the near-irresistible power of female seduction. From the biblical Samson to Abraham to Arnold Swarzenegger to Bill Clinton to George Best to Tiger Woods, to Stanley Ntagali to Lawrence Mukiibi...the end of their careers or lives has always found them on bended knees, pursuing warm flesh. Moses Matovu is no exception. A man who led a band whose music gets people of all ages and classes on the dance floor. 50 years being the best at what he did . But the allure of a pointed boob and well rounded bottom never spared him. Like many before him, he fell for it and he fell deep. That’s why I want to repeat that it would be foolish for any man to laugh at Matovu or mock the circumstances of his death. Because at an untold time, every man will meet a moment that tempts them to surrender all power and succumb to the magic that lies in ‘thigh-land.’ Napoleone Ehmah is a Standup Comedian, Events MC and Freelance writer.

Eh...it's high time I learnt Runyankole walayi!! After the heavy rainfall in Kampala yesterday, I decided to take a nap. I saw my maid also going to her room. In an attempt to tell her to lock the doors I said, "Iwe ija onshweeke.' We spent 20 minutes running around the house. She was following me with a bedsheet. I saved myself by running to my neiba’z house. And just right now, I wanted to tell her to "Serve food" in Runyankole? I just told her, "Food, ija tubyame," and now she's transferring her mattress to my bedroom. @_papawere, you know some Runyankore. Am I saying the correct things in Runyankore or the maid is just ovulating?

*BRYAN WHITE; THE TRUTH. HOW HE GOT THE MONEY AND WHERE THE MONEY WENT: —————————————————- Yesterday, I was in Kololo as MC for a gig when I met an Italian journalist called Antonio Siena. Antonio is doing a follow up on a Bryan White story that he started working on eight years ago. I found him with several photos of Bryan White and all the 'podium' people and he told me he is in Uganda to finish the story. The story according to Antonio goes like; Around 2009, cracks had started emerging in Muamar Gadaffi's administration and the Libyan border had become porous, leaving the way for many sharp people to escape to Italy. Several Africans took advantage, especially Nigerians, Malians, Ethiopians and some Ugandans like Bryan White. With his skin colour and hair (he had curly hair then) he easily managed to get a Libyan I.D and passport which helped him settle in Italy as an immigrant. Bryan White was a hard working immigrant at a Milan restaurant and Angela Viviana Rossi, the beautiful owner of the restaurant fell in love with Bryan White. Vivianna is a niece to Silvio Barlusconi, the former Italian Prime Minister who is one of the richest men in Italy and the world at large. Luck is when the daughter of a rich man falls in love with you. Women are kind, generous and generally big-hearted, that's why they need to be celebrated. Actually on Friday 23rd October at the Kampala Serena Hotel, two of Uganda’s funniest comedians, @idringp and @DrHilaryOkello will go head to head in a “battle of the ribs” comedy concert termed “2 Kings-One Mic.” Come we celebrate Ugandan comedy. This is what the post was about. 😃😅😂 See you all.

Napoleone Ehmah; The next Messi/Ronaldo can play with Timberland boots. What a special talent; generational😂

Hello @UEDCLTD … fire 🔥

Keep Resting in Peace Papa. 18 years it’s been; 18 years…your son still grinds solo. Some days are easy, some days I wish I could talk to a father. But all in all, God has been good and He still is.

Tonight…