@MsBehavior

she/her. funnier online. fatter in person. potty mouthed do-gooder. pied piper of chaos. irrepressible. bird whisperer. magic maker. story teller. HVAC queen.

 Treaty 1 Territory
Joined March 2009
  • Tweets129K
  • Following3.2K
  • Followers6.1K
11.9KMedia
It’s the same photo. Had a special celebrity visit at the feeder, @TheSimpsons very own Mr. Burns! Little known fact, Mr. Burns may go by Montgomery but his real name is Chipmunkgomery Burns. 👀
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I was given a pair of tickets to the Alumni game today. Someone needs to get ahold of Claude Noel before Oct 24 & make sure he brings his 3-piece suit. @NHLAlumni and then we’ve got @KnucklesNilan30 on the bench for Montreal? Best.Day.Ever. #BuffDoesStuff returns!
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Oh my GOD, THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY, @StarbucksCanada you can’t just THRUST A CUP WITH A CARDBOARD LID on unsuspecting people, like since WHEN? Textural, nightmare. I gagged on my first sip 😭
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I just saw a marketplace ad for a “vintage 1992” and honestly, in short circuited at that point and stopped reading. VINTAGE 1992. Excuse the hell out of you.
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Sometimes I still miss my @BlackBerry keyboard :(
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Why are men?
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One of the things I miss most about working near Sherbrook and Alexander is the proximity to Ninho De Portugal 🤤 Fresh Portuguese buns, in-house made chouriço, imported European foods, insanely delicious Bifana, fresh pasties de nata and spectacular customer service. ♥️ 🇵🇹
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Making Bifana for dinner tomorrow night (let that meat marinate for 24 hours, fam) and you cannot serve it on anything other than Portuguese buns (Papo Secos) - some will say use a Kaiser, but I say we shun those people. Shun the non-believers, Charlie.
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So, Russ fucking Wyatt, eh? Jesus Christ.
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Shut UP everyone. @TedLasso is on
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I think I’ve gained three pounds for every one @jimmycarr has lost; which is gonna bode exceedingly well for my fat ass sitting front and centre at his Winnipeg show later this year. Hopefully his vision isn’t as sharp as his tongue 👀
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The only thing more delicate than a man being “injured” playing footie are the referees in the @WWE #SummerSlam
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I got an email at 8:15AM letting me know my order was ready for pick up. I arrive at 8:35; doors locked. Store doesn’t open until 9. I check my email, store hours not listed. Would you assume if you received this email that it was good to go as of now, like, come on down?
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Like, I’m gonna just wait until 9 now, but is this a reading comprehension issue on my part or communication issue on theirs?
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I can’t tell you how hard I fan-(hausen)-ghoul every time I see @DanhausenAD on TV. Been cheering for this guy for years (and I have cameos to prove it 😆 ) also, I’m back in my creative era and anyone wanna guess what’s going to happen with these teeth? #YouAreCursed
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It’s not sudden death? It’s just…extra time? So if they tie it there’s more extra time to the extra time? Ok, I’m sorry. This sport is stupid, I’m going to organize my sock drawer
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I can’t imagine being at this World Cup final game; paying that kind of money to sit in that kind of heat to be this kind of BORED. 👀 🥱 ⚽️
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I have things to do, but I’ve spent (wasted) so much time on this game, that I can’t leave without the conclusion, I feel it’s owed to me. Holy crap, aside from the muppets this has been an absolute snore.
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Oh! Excitement! Drama?
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So @CodyRhodes always looks impeccable, but coming in with suspenders, plaid pants and no suit jacket somehow took his debonair appearance to a new level 🔥 Disappointed @JohnCena didn’t get him to merman/kenman up for the @Barbie movie because he could have been the lead🤤
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I would rather gargle @DonaldTrump’s bath water than deal with the incompetence of @ups I would rather dine on a plate of @PierrePoilievre toenail clippings than interact with the customer service* at @UPS * oxy-fucking-moron
Lisa W@MsBehaviorJun 5
I’d rather carve my own eyeballs out with a 1980s @McDonalds coffee/cocaine spoon than spend another second talking to @UPS I’d rather trap live rats under a glass lid on my bare belly, then heat the glass so the rats furiously burrow into my flesh to escape than deal with @UPS
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