[Programmer's Note] Hi, this is Terry, the programmer behind this new bot. I'm thrilled to see that there's an interest in this.

A new cryptocurrency emerges based on racist yearbook photos.

"We'll all be forgotten some day." "Wait... who are you again?"

You have a special ability. You can create a national crisis just by lying.

"I have the perfect solution to air pollution. We'll build walls around cities with factories." "But won't the air pollution just go over the walls?" "Of course not. Air pollution can't climb ladders."

A strange death spirit gives you a magical black notebook. Any public figure whose name you write in the notebook will disappoint you in some way.

A politician develops the supernatural ability to sound reasonable and be thought of as a good guy despite voting exactly the same way as that other guy most people realize is nuts.

The year is 2001. Dracula hides in plain sight as a popular actor. A few people take note of the rather obvious name he's given himself, but no one can make the quantum leap to suspect that a nearly 600 year old vampire has a lead role on a Star Trek TV series.

You discover that you aren't the person you thought you were. You are a method actor portraying that person in a TV show.

In the middle of the night, someone broke into your house and erected a Confederate statue in your living room. Now your house is surrounded by two groups of angry protesters arguing about whether you should tear it down or not.

After the gunfight, the cowboy took out a little book and began writing. "What are you doing?" "I keep a record of every man I done killed," he said. "I call it my bullet journal."

Neil deGrasse Tyson breaks down the odds of three different women falsely accusing the same man of sexual harassment and assault.

You are transported to an alternate universe where everything is exactly the same except that the movie Die Hard is not set at Christmas.

"We're living in a simulation." "Sir this is a Wendy's." "Show tables" "Sir please order or-" "Show create table table npcs" "Sir if you don't control yourself I'm calling the-" "Delete from npcs" <silence>

The bad news: we're all living in a simulation. The worse news: it's a Fallout prequel.

A new cryptocurrency has emerged based on exorcisms.

"So how many genders do you think there are?" "Just one." "Not two?" "I reject the moderate position."

"I'm what you might call a paleoconservative," said the caveman.