Dad, Lawyer, and other things

Birmingham, Alabama
Joined November 2015
Jonathan Hooks retweeted
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In Alabama a man said "Roll Tide" to me as a greeting. Later that same day, the same man said "Roll Tide" as a goodbye. I asked a woman at the store what it means. She said, "Roll Tide." I asked what it means. She said, "It means Roll Tide, sugar." So I began collecting evidence. I kept a list. I am not embarrassed about the list. I have now heard "Roll Tide" used as: hello. Goodbye. Thank you. I am sorry. Congratulations. That is unfortunate. I agree. I disagree. And once, in a hardware store, as a complete set of instructions for installing a ceiling fan. I heard it said at a funeral. It was appropriate. It was the most appropriate thing anyone said that day. I began using it. Carefully at first, the way a man handles a borrowed sword. I said it to a cashier. She said it back. I said it to a police officer who had stopped me for a broken taillight. He looked at me for a long moment. He looked at my face. He looked at my taillight. Then he said it back, and nodded once, and did not write the ticket. I wish to be extremely clear that I am not claiming those two events are related. I am also not claiming they are unrelated. A man at a gas station heard my accent and asked where I was from. I told him Japan. He said, "Roll Tide." He meant welcome. I knew he meant welcome. There was no ambiguity at all. I have been in Alabama eleven days. I have one word. It has been enough for everything. I have started saying it in other states. It does not work in other states. I said it in a warehouse store in Oregon. One man turned around. He was from Alabama. He said it back. We did not speak after that. We did not have to. I say it anyway.
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Glad @YorgoCS remembered today was National Last Sunday for Seersucker.
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Modern man is in a terrible predicament. He is helplessly enamored with the beauty of what the old world built, yet despises the beliefs that inspired them to build it.
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At a ballet. Oh no! A villain! 30 seconds later: Crisis averted! Good guys dancing with villain.
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Hero and fair maiden connected, the hero … escorts fair maiden off the stage …. to return to the stage by himself and … leap. A lot.
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Grand takeaway: I could totally be the king in a ballet like this. No dancing needed. Cantankerous attitude ok. Must only sit to the side of the stage wearing a crown. Goals.
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Same
Now that I am married and in my 40s it feels like my dreams of a race car bed are slipping away.
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Jonathan Hooks retweeted
☕️☕️☕️
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How is it, in 2023, that I still cannot find a basic, functioning *can opener*?
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Jonathan Hooks retweeted
It’s December lads so time to break out this classic
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Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.
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*Chef’s kiss*
Roberts concurrence says it should be on the 30.
Just take care of your family. That’s it. The rest will usually work out ok. Thank you, Mr. Anderson.
This man is the reason Roe v. Wade got overturned today. Not an Achilles, or Caesar, a working-class man who cared about his grandson, not the revolution.
Anyone seen a “cloud” like this before. This is double oak mountain from Meadowbrook. ⁦@spann⁩
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