Welcome back, old friend... Just rediscovered the joys and practicality of ‘Smash’ instant mashed potato. For best results, add a little milk and a knob of butter. You won’t look back.

This is not a staged hoax. 5 margarines & a block of butter on the go at friends. Should I leave while I can?

Sky Sports are having a 'Jamie' party. Good turnout.

Power of Twitter? I see Dickie Blackwood is doing OK on Eastenders since we upped his profile as a John impersonator

@AlexRileyNow One of them new fangled Jaguar F-Pace things I believe, looks like lovechild of an Evoke & a Qashqai.

Pluto probe mission fail - some idiot left the lens cap on ...

Can you KenKen?

Richard Blackwood @RBcomedian has fallen on hard times, he's become an @johnshuttlewrth impersonator