Henry 3000 (@Henry_3000) | teapawt

Pinned Tweet

@Henry_3000Sep 26

Gardening sounds kinda lame. I prefer to say that I raise and slaughter my own vegetables.

9

1,729

26,526

Henry 3000 retweeted

@propapergirl13h

woke up again. i have to stop doing this

1

18

309

Henry 3000 retweeted

Ghostface Kryllah@kryzazzyOct 7

Excuse me, my anxiety would like to know why you said “k” instead of “okay”

2

66

1,700

Henry 3000 retweeted

Ron Seyb@RonaldPSeyb13h

Just learned that my Myers-Briggs type is “Pre-Raphaelite.”

5

90

Henry 3000 retweeted

@DamonHunzeker5h

DAY 16 WITHOUT A MICROWAVE: Burrito so cold.

33

488

Henry 3000 retweeted

you already know@DrinkingDad_27h

Kim Jong-un alive

6

375

Henry 3000 retweeted

𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓

Cemeteries are hoarding dead people.

17

110

2,159

Henry 3000 retweeted

Cat From Nowhere

It doesn't hurt to think of what outlandish deathbed realizations you might have someday. Now. Anything goes! Enjoy.

2

34

560

Henry 3000 retweeted

Cat From Nowhere

So comforting when the most rabidly political coworker (which is saying something) takes off work to go be a paid poll manager. Mmm yeah really putting my faith in him guarding election integrity. Vote anyway.

1

64

Henry 3000 retweeted

Subprimepersonality

@Subprimepersona17h

They can be fake and spectacular tbh.

10

247

Henry 3000 retweeted

Subprimepersonality

@Subprimepersona2h

An ectopic pregnant pause to maintain the awkwardness of the conversation.

12

173

Henry 3000 retweeted

Natasha Something@IfIwassomethingOct 15

Reading from my drafts folder in a haunted building just for the creaks and moans.

41

902

Henry 3000 retweeted

Natasha Something@IfIwassomethingOct 16

I bet a lot of ventriloquists get started by first absorbing their siblings in the womb.

1

60

1,081

Henry 3000 retweeted

Hysteria Barbie@HysteriaBarbie6h

Tooth Fairy was not ready for a first tooth lost to late night pizza after the shops closed. Just an IOU and some genuine parental shame under the pillow.

6

140

Henry 3000 retweeted

Hysteria Barbie@HysteriaBarbie4h

*walk into a crystal store* 2yo: NOPE! Me: I don’t want to be here either, buddy. Assistant: Would you like a reading? 2yo: NOPE. Me: That's my boy.

7

183

Henry 3000 retweeted

Sophy Boyle@wyvernandstarJul 26

English might be the language of Shakespeare and Milton, but where is its cedilla? Its tilde? Its circumflex? I wish my alphabet wore little boots and hats

29

976

30,137

Henry 3000 retweeted

Sophy Boyle@wyvernandstarJul 24

My driving instructor used to say 'the horn should never be used as a rebuke' which unfortunately just gave me ideas

2

38

1,036

I energize my mornings with a steaming hot cup of black coffee and 20 minutes of Instagram induced rage.

2

37

641

Henry 3000 retweeted

ilovedyourdad@millersarah4718h

I don’t need more clothes. I need more situations worthy of the clothes I already irresponsibly bought

11

158

1,490

Henry 3000 retweeted

Natalie Would@_NatalieWouldOct 18

ASMR would be a great name for a band

1

40

847

Henry 3000 retweeted

Pia Nacar@Kimgee820h

Animals speak language humans often forget: loyalty without conditions, love without words, and presence without pretense.

1

42

921