It was a great pleasure to contribute to this Guardian “The Experts” piece on what death can teach us about how to live. I’m not sure anyone can ever truly be an expert on mortality, but here are my personal top 4 lessons, distilled from everything my patients have taught me as palliative care doctor: 1. Prioritise people, not things “As you approach the end of life, all the irrelevant stuff is stripped away. No one cares about how much power they had, how big their house is, how fancy their car is, how much status they had at work. What they care about is the people they love. The way to live a life that is rich and deeply fulfilling is to build human connections. That matters more than anything else.” 2. Don’t worry about signs of ageing “The wrinkles, grey hairs & menopausal body I now possess are all things that society wants us to feel distressed about - because they want to make money selling products to try to fix our distress. All of those stigmas associated with ageing are a blessing and a privilege to have. Anybody who is old enough to feel anxious about those things should be saying: ‘I am so lucky. I have lived long enough to creak when I get out of bed in the morning.’” 3. Connect with other living things “The richness of life comes from our relations with other living creatures, human & non-human. It could be animals or birds or plants, but it is living connections with the wider world that give life meaning. The more you can pour yourself into those connections, the more likely you are to have a deep sense of contentment & happiness.” 4. Try to stay healthy – but don’t let that limit your life “We try to stay healthy so we can function as well as we can for as long as we can. But ascetic lives are pretty hard and constrained. That is the opposite of life. Life is something to savour. So, don’t beat yourself up for things that are often construed as minor sins of living, like eating delicious food & drinking beautiful wine. We are sensual creatures & celebrating that is part of living life richly. Health means enjoying life, not just living it for as long as possible.”