Hit 30 days clean the other day.. really doing the damn thing. I always thought once I got through the physical withdrawal it'd be smooth sailing but over coming the mental hurtles of obsession and compulsion have been more challenging.
Kinda forgot about this account. Really felt like shit for two weeks coming off everything. Now I'm coming up on 30 days totally clean.. every day is a lesson in focusing on what I can control that day and taking positive action in the right direction.
Day 4 almost done. Couldn't post yesterday as I was too sick. Throwing up, achey, tired, etc. the routine I've been doing that's helping me:
Wake up early and read some literature and pick a spiritual principle
Call sponsor
Work
Hit a meeting
Work
Meeting
Call sponsor.
Fentanyl is a weird drug. The high isn't all that great but it's so addictive. Your reptilian brain takes over and tells you you need it to survive. It really just makes you sleepy.
Day 2 is going well. Haven't used today. Contacted my sponsor for the first time in a month and he gave me a lot of hope and positivity. I feel like shit btw. Going to eat with my friend, then hitting a couple meetings
I'm a 29 year old fentanyl addict. My plan is to post about my recovery as a form of accountability. Today is day 1.
I've been trying to get clean and stay clean for awhile now and I'm so tired of falling short. I've had multiple months of clean time only to burn it all down.
I'm on the verge of losing my wife, my dogs, my job, my friends, and family. I obviously don't want that. I'll post updates here, answer questions, and tell stories of my time in addiction. Hopefully I can help someone else who is in a similar situation.