Disgusting! Next time please photoshop in a little red nose and six oversized shoes on that unfortunate insect and label it Monty Spider's Fly Circus. That'll fix everything. Even Covid.

My wife just pointed out: this is my Bookiversary. 5 years ago today, Warlock Holmes became a thing.

Glad you enjoyed it. Wait until you get to the cliffhanger in book 5... Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha!

Oh, it's coming... um... boy. Though it's possible we'll see some weirdness like SPACE HORSE FORCE first. You know: for kids. And the childish.

Ha! You caught me. I'm just an OG Wolverine fan, sneakin' him into my stories wherever I can. I even got my illustrator on board.

Oh God... He's not lying.

Oh, I didn't. What I did have was an editor who was basically Mean Mary Poppins to rap my knuckles when I stepped out of line. (But Monty Python, Red Dwarf, Black Adder, Terry Pratchet and Douglas Adams got me most of the way.)

Sorry for spamming everybody with RayBan ads. I was hacked. Now it is fixed and I will go back to spamming you all with Warlock Holmes ads. Hey, you know who would look right sexy in a fresh pair of RayBans? Hot Doc John Watson! Rowl-rowl!

Whoo-hoo! Proud of my bro!

Just gonna say: the first time I got Warlock Holmes workshopped was in an undergrad class at #UNLV . Was it nerve-racking? Yes. But now there's 5 of them you can buy at any bookstore in the land. Go get 'em Nicole!

Thanks Natalie! Let me tell you: I was pretty shocked humanity had left that pun sitting around, unused, for over a hundred years. Shame on us, really.

Ooooooh. I'd sign off on that. Want to hear my really weird piece of dreamcasting? For Mrs. Hudson... Kelly LeBrock. We'd have to age her up a bit, but I think she'd be worth it. People remember her for her looks, but she's funny as hell.

Congrats Mae, and thanks for thinking of me. Now... I have to ask... "You're a Dragon" Mae McKinnon?

#graphicaudio did the radioplay version of that book. The day Scott casually said he was working on a sound-effect of Grogsson stepping on that dog... well... Every time the phone rang, I was sure it was going to be the ASPCA hitman.

Tee-hee. I do love abusing Watson. It's one of my secret little delights.

One reviewer called me out for bestiality on that one, but let me off the hook because it was--and I quote--"light, tasteful bestiality". Glad to know this world still has standards.

And that must have been boring. Next time, pretend you're on hold with BLOOD Bath and Beyond. That'll be way more interesting.

Bwa-ha! I'm gonna try that on my wife and see if it works.

Every year I send these words out into the world, hoping to make people laugh. Then, every year, Rob Garson reads them back and makes me laugh. My life is great.

Aww, dang! Now you made me google it. What am I gonna write on when the FBI seizes my laptop?