ALT A picture of me smiling and gazing up to my left, wearing a greyish-purple shirt in front of pale blue curtains patterned with cream flowers and butterflies. I'm holding a copy of my new book, Spin Off, which has a striking cover (the title in thick, angular black letters, with a TV set containing a swirling, hypnotic pattern replacing the "O" of "Off", and my name in red underneath).

ALT This painting by the 17th-century artist Giovanna Garzoni depicts a hedgehog facing left, its grey prickles rendered in intricate detail, beside a short oak branch, a snail and two chestnuts. The colours are predominantly yellows, greys and browns.

ALT Here I am in my kitchen with a rather intense expression, displaying a proof of my book. Its cover is black and white, with spiral patterns interrupted by a white circle in the centre, in which "CHOOSE YOUR PUZZLE-FILLED PATH TO TV STARDOM" is written.