Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff) header
Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff) profile picture

I know you have a choice in parody airline CEOs, and I thank you for choosing FakeUnitedJeff. Sir/boss/jefe. email: FakeUnitedJeff@gmail.com

Houston, TX
Joined January 2012
Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)Photo by Fake Jeff Smisek (@FakeUnitedJeff)
United: we didn't start the race to the bottom, but by God we plan to win it!
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I feel a tremor in the force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old adversary. @martysg
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If all the bankrupt US airlines post-9/11 had been bought up by an investment group headed by Osama bin Laden so Al-Qaeda could be “free” again, it might match what Twitter feels like today. Bye, folks — it’s been a ride.
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I thought I scrubbed all of the old livery before I retired. Still beats buying new sims. Those things ain’t cheap.
God this thing is an ancient piece of shit!
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Liquor store clerk: I’m gonna need to see some age verification Me: Gosh, remember how great United treated 1Ks? Liquor store clerk: enjoy your purchase
Liquor store clerk: I’m gonna need to see some age verification Me: remember making mixtapes from the radio? You had to hit the “record” button with millisecond timing. Liquor store clerk: enjoy your purchase
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Southwest American Delta United
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I don’t have much pull at United anymore but if I did I’d make sure that upgrade didn’t clear.
Here’s the upgrade list for this afternoon’s flight from Cancun to Houston. Looks like ⁦@tedcruz⁩ is on his way back, ⁦@danpfeiffer⁩. He’s just narrowly missing the upgrade list That’s assuming that “cru, r” is him. And I do.
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Narrator: Customers don’t.
.@AmericanAir letter on 737 MAX: “if a customer doesn’t want to fly on the 737 MAX they won’t have to”
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Looks like somebody bought a Trump helicopter. It remains to be seen if it’s being bought for an amount way over reasonable value for a fairly tapped out S76B with some maintenance issues in its history. aeroasset.com/sikorsky-s76b.…
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Fake Jeff Smisek retweeted
OK this is real bad tho
Reporter: "Win, lose or draw in this election, will you commit here today for a peaceful transferal of power after the election?" President Trump: "We're going to have to see what happens."
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But companies who buy trucks thought it would burn less fuel, and if there’s a safety problem we can always sue the manufacturer. Problem solved.
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But, the ancillary fees!
Best news of 2020. 👏 We’re getting rid of change fees for good on all standard Economy and Premium tickets for travel within the U.S. and making same-day standby free for everyone. Learn more: uafly.co/2YFqlbS
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Fake Jeff Smisek retweeted
absolutely baller content from the postal workers union
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He’s just worried about a landslide leading to a day next year when the Federalist Society is on the list of terrorist organizations for their work to overthrow the US government.
Steven Calabresi, co-founder & co-Chair of the Federalist Society is calling for Trump's impeachment & removal after the election delay tweet. Time to back it up. Deliver 20 R Senators necessary to do it bc they won't listen to Dems. Rs are now trying to avoid an election wipeout
What bastards decided to use a photo of JFK with the damn Tulip logo? Do they have no decency?
United to drop contract with ExpressJet, dealing fatal blow reut.rs/3jQhY6l
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In these no-biz travel COVID times when will AA ground the 321-T fleet and just code share with B6 Mint for those routes?
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Today’s agreement with @JetBlue is a sign that my war to run @AmericanAir out of NYC finally has won. Newark is the fortress to the west I always dreamed it would be and JetBlue and Delta can fight over the scraps to the East. Splendid.
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