Nicky

What a strange thing we do to our young people in this culture and time. We make them spend several years learning things which they often have no interest in, which they have not chosen and which they will in many cases never use again. We tell them that these things are vitally important. Then we sit them in rows and make them write about the things they can remember for an intense few hours. We compare what they have written down with everyone else of the same age, and then we rank them. We make them wait a couple of months and then we tell some that they are the successes, and others that they are the failures. We encourage them to hang their self-worth on how they performed. Newspapers publish pictures of the delighted, whilst the disappointed hide their heads in shame. We tell them that these results will determine the rest of their lives – and then we set up systems that make this true. We provide fewer opportunities for those who did not succeed. Those who did well can take their pick of courses, whilst those who did not are made to take the same tests again and again, just to hammer it home. We make sure that young people spend the majority of their adolescence focused on exams and pressure. Every summer, they sit in rows and try to remember. Each year, they’re told that their whole future rests on this. Many of them inevitably cave in under the pressure. They become anxious and depressed. They show signs of burnout by the age of 16. They lose their spark, and just go through the motions. Some of them retreat altogether. Then we pathologise them, say that they need mental health treatment or to become more resilient. We send them for therapy or give them medication. We say that they are the problem, whilst the system carries on unchanged. What if instead we stopped to think about what we are doing to our young people? Adolescence is a time of opportunity and vulnerability. It’s a one-off stage of life. What if we asked ourselves, should our young people really spend these years on a conveyor belt of high stakes exams? Imagine we allowed ourselves to look beyond this time and place, and to see just how strange this really is. What would we offer our young people then?

When we teach our children that they must follow any rule an adult puts in place, no matter what, we make them vulnerable. When we teach them that they have no real voice, we make them vulnerable. When we tell them them have no right to ask why, or to explain themselves, we make them vulnerable. We might think that we are keeping them safe, that we are putting boundaries in place, but, particularly as they get older, obedience without thought makes them vulnerable. Not all adults have their interests at heart, even those in authority over them. A child who has been taught that adults always know best is convenient for those around them. ‘Easy to manage’ and biddable. Instant obedience can be trained, and makes an institution run smoothly. Children learn that there’s no point in disagreeing. But children who have learnt to do what they are told, no matter what, are easier to exploit. Children who have not been allowed to question adults won’t suddenly start when things aren’t right. As one young person said to me ‘I didn’t think I could say no’. When we take away agency from children, we make them vulnerable. Saying No is important, and if we don’t show them that they can, how will they ever know?