Comedian. Author of Raisins are Good for You: A Child's Guide to Eating A Raisin-Only Diet. Host of the "Won't You Be My Killer?" podcast.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined April 2008
- Tweets75.3K
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RFK Jr sounds like he's only alive because a troll inside his body is turning a crank and yet he wants you to trust his medical opinions over the opinions of experts.
Changing my job title on LinkedIn to “CEO” to inspire all of the CEOs in hiding to come out of the shadows. Be proud of being a CEO!!! If you are a CEO, tell everyone you are a CEO!!!
I hope they throw the book at Luigi Mangione. What I mean by that is, I hope the extent of his punishment is someone physically throwing a book at him. Doesn't even have to be an accurate throw.
Evan J'daté Kessler retweeted
As an adult, I never believed in heaven and hell, but I have to now. I have to believe that those who perpetrate, celebrate, justify or ignore this will meet an eternal fate a million times more agonizing and fiery than the horror we’ve witnessed over the last 14 months.
Accidentally lost access to this dipshit site on my phone somehow, but also maybe this is my last post. Well, if it is, just know that most of my posts were pretty damn special and so were yours before it all went to shit. Find me on the other places, if it matters to you.
If they’re going to use our tweets to train AI on here, maybe we should only post about how Elon Musk is a dumb little bitch.
Surprised Trump didn’t nominate UFC’s Dana White to head up the Department of Defense and announce a renovation project to transform the Pentagon into the Octagon.
Evan J'daté Kessler retweeted
I'm pretty confident that, in Trump cabinet meetings, no one will have any idea what anyone else there is talking about.
Evan J'daté Kessler retweeted
I'm pretty sure all of Trump's cabinet appointees have hunted humans for sport.
Evan J'daté Kessler retweeted
Trump's cabinet is like if Limp Bizkit, Creed and Nickelback formed a supergroup and you had to listen to their music for 4 years straight.
Evan J'daté Kessler retweeted
In a world in which consumers are voters, this does matter.
The BDS movement has officially partnered with @boycatapp, an innovative ethical shopping platform and application, in order to allow you to join consumer-focused BDS campaigns more effectively.
Get the app ➡️ linktr.ee/boycatapp
Read more ➡️ bdsmovement.net/BDS-Has-Part…
Evan J'daté Kessler retweeted
Republicans care so much about children they’re installing a pedophile attorney general.
Evan J'daté Kessler retweeted
"The video has been removed."
So the Times realized a video they claimed was showing Israelis getting beaten up actually showed the opposite, so they removed the video. Why not leave the video in and just make it accurate?
FYI: The correction of New York Times yesterday @nytimes
Journalist Christiaan Triebert @trbrtc fact-checked the story by calling me last Friday.
The video’s author told the New York Times The Times it shows a group of Maccabi fans chasing a man on the street - independently confirmed with other verified footage from the scene. The video has been removed.
