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@EVA24011

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

 United States
Joined March 2022
  • Tweets48.4K
  • Following11.1K
  • Followers20.7K
14.9KMedia
Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)Photo by ✨✨ (@EVA24011)
Got any plans for tonight? Me:
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Just a few more mental breakdowns til Christmas! 🎄
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Of course I talk to myself, that bitch gets me
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It’s a little early to be choosing violence, but here we are
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Hot dogs as a lifestyle
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Let it be known that on this day in this hour, in this minute, in this second, I'm the one fighting autocorrect for you all.
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unclench that jaw you gorgeous little overstimulated freak
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Jackson (@kerouac741) profile picture
Jackson@kerouac741Nov 6
I like a bad idea that is really good
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When a shortened week somehow feels twice as long, you spend a little extra time lingering in the bubbles. 🫧🫧#KneecapThursday
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Listen, I have to be witty, funny, snarky even. I have small boobs.
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You know, for boobie Tuesday. #VOTE
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my sleep paralysis demon, whispering directly into my ear canal* …. “exxxxxxxxxxxsSpecially”
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Gird your loins…. It’s Election Day. 🗳️ 👉🏼VOTE!!!
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Feeling pretty bad I used to make fun of older people for eating dinner early and being in bed before 9pm, that shit is lit
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🖤Monochrome Monday
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Jono (@whoinvitedjon) profile picture
Jono@whoinvitedjonNov 2
The phrase "music to my ears" seems redundant. What other body part would it be for?
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Instead of “no-nut November”, can I suggest “no-noise November” where everyone just stays quiet
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Its November. Time to eat our feelings.
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A gentle breeze blows through your hair as I remind you that you're not defined by your moderate to severe plaque psoriasis
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About last night….. Child:”Trick or treat, smell my feet!” Me, jokingly: “Smell your feet?? No, thank you!” Child: “Smell my butt then!”
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I’m giving out candy cigarettes and lawn darts tomorrow because nothing matters anymore
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