Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer) header
Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer) profile picture
Joined June 2013
Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)Photo by Lieutenant Dan (@Danielblainer)
We’ve taken away your mountain views until you learn to behave yourselves
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It’s happening. We’re chiseling fans’ faces onto our Bold Flavored Snack Almonds! Watch the livestream now to see a true artist at work. Tune in to find out if your selfie was selected! xitter.cf/i/broadcasts/1MYxNmdlv…
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Tweet a selfie @BlueDiamond May 13 with #SuperfoodSelfies for a chance to get your own almond carving!
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Lieutenant Dan retweeted
How does the ibuprofen know where to go
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Turn yourself into a pickle!
It’s brine time! Spicy Dill Pickle Almonds have officially launched! Reply with a selfie for a chance to get your very own pickle portrait #PickleMePlease Terms and conditions 👉 bit.ly/3aes10s
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Is everyone else obsessed with pickles, or have we spent too much time in our own brine? Get ready to get pickled with new Spicy Dill Pickle Flavored Almonds! #PickleMePlease
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Marry Chrimbus!
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Lieutenant Dan retweeted
Sitting in singles ward, age 30, wondering how things could have been different if I had played "Waterfall" on the Wilk terrace piano.
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Lieutenant Dan retweeted
That feeling when college football season is finally here.
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Lieutenant Dan retweeted
Who wore it better? @Danielblainer
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Pissed because I'm eating Whole Foods pizza everyday, and still not loosing weight!!!
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First day in Florida, and there has already been a croc sighting!
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Replying to @RealCapnCrunch
Thx @RealCapnCrunch for reaching out. If you're actually going to do something about this, screen shot the memo you're sending! #consoleme
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As someone who has been crunch-a-tized a time or two, I’m asking you to update your cereal box, I NEED new content!!!!!!!!! @RealCapnCrunch
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I hope Omarosa becomes the new Secretary of State.
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Lieutenant Dan retweeted
.@God now would be a great time to intervene.
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I enjoy this xitter.cf/thefunnyvine/status/79… – at Lindon, UT
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What is your ideal fruit salad?
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