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Cunda

@Cunda22

Self made millionaire, Entrepreneur, philanthropist. I like cheezels

 Sydney
Joined March 2012
  • Tweets22.7K
  • Following1.3K
  • Followers4K
114Media
Photo by Cunda (@Cunda22)Photo by Cunda (@Cunda22)Photo by Cunda (@Cunda22)Photo by Cunda (@Cunda22)Photo by Cunda (@Cunda22)
I have sex the same way I play video games, I just press all the buttons and hope like shit it's a special move or something.
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They say genius is sometimes the simple things, so now I understand why women are so complicated.
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If boobs are measured in cup sizes then how many boobs are there in a standard drink?
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There are some people you only meet once in a lifetime and that’s more than enough.
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Fuck a vegan. They need some meat.
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Accidentally burped into my inflatable girlfriend while blowing her up and now she has BO.
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Welcome to your 40’s. Everything jiggles.
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I'm not really judgmental, unless you're stupid..
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I’m finding it more and more difficult to tell the difference between a vegan and a heroin addict.
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I've never met a duck who played soccer before, but I reckon that'd really quack me up.
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It's a perfect night to find a secret passageway behind a bookshelf & go fuck yourself.
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If you don't teabag all of your friends when you're drunk, you don't even deserve to have testicles.
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If you cry in your soup you'll have more soup.
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A coffin is just a hammock with a lid.
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My life is broken. I’ve tried complaining to the manufacturers but they’ve retired. I’m pretty sure the architect is a figment of imagination. So I’m reduced to turning to you lot for advice So yeah, I’m pretty fucked
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To be honest, I really love you guys. I don’t even care if you’re all fat.
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Everybody’s a fuckface if you’ve had enough to drink.
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Women are kinda like garbage bins cause they're only good for sticking your junk in them & you really only need to take them out once a week.
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Did you guys know if you sneak into the woods with a chainsaw, dressed as a clown to cut your own Christmas tree, no one will stop you.
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