24/7/365 Observer. Picture-taker. Frequent participant. Occasional make-happener. Bowling. Clouds.
Gunbarrel, CO
Joined October 2013
- Tweets18K
- Following12.4K
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Dead Pan Nick retweeted
That new Nathan Fielder movie had the hipster theater hootin and hollerin like a black church last night
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
It's one thing to get a golf tee stuck in a nostril. Shit happens. But if you've got a golf tee in each nostril, that's a pattern. Wake up.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
*flirting* You're the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on in the Statcast era
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
“Babe do we have to watch Daniel Jones vs Athan Kaliakmanis first thing or can we go to brunch?”
Me:
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
i've been nothing but a complete nightmare to you and this is how you treat me
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
The most complex word in the English language is "run", with 645 possible different meanings.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
The feminine urge to fall in love with a handsome drifter and become a cold case
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
i have yet to find an adhd trick for getting around executive dysfunction that works for me because every single one just makes me go "okay but i could also NOT do that"
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
The best thing about the current era of the NFL is these ancient QBs being wheeled out like trebuchets and immediately being better pure passers than the young athletes they are replacing. The Joe Flacco Conundrum.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Dressing as Chris Hansen for Halloween and showing up to people’s houses while they’re giving out candy to children and asking them “you see how this looks, right?”
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
(Baseball game)
Hotdog guy: hotdogs!
Me waving him down: all good over here
Him: what?
Me standing up and going to him: I don’t want a hotdog
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
As ugly as it may look at times, God Bless Sean Payton dude. All I’ve wanted since Peyton retired is to watch the Broncos actually compete in marquee primetime matchups like tonight and all last year. There’s no better feeling than watching your favorite team consistently go blow for blow with some of the leagues best.
