Ordered my CHERRY'S JUBILEE COLLECTION! kickstarter.com/projects/psy…

Instead of tweeting on Twitter, does everyone yeet on #X? This is probably my last yeet here. Find me where the skies are blue. – at Austin, TX

Michael Cole saying John Cena has never disrespected anyone… did he miss the whole dis rapper phase of his career? #MoneyInTheBank – at Texas, USA

“Would you like to buy these shards of broken glass?” is essentially the experience I just had. Count your blessings, people who aren’t me. – at Austin, TX

Holy shit, Austin WISHES it parties as hard as Nashville. – at Nashville, TN

It’s been too long since I’ve had a Jolly’s chicken sandwich and root beer.

Judging by the billboards, the most advertised product in the South and Midwest is Jesus. – at Ohio, USA

Just had an absolute shit for brains request to play paper rock scissors for a discount. Why on earth would I? If you lose, are you going to pay extra? When I said no, he decided not to get the items he pulled while singing, whistling, and talking to himself for the last 45 mins. – at Austin, TX

I have a long-standing joke about how 7eleven is my favorite restaurant, mostly because of their questionable food innovations of the past. But their jalapeño cream cheese taquitos are legit delicious and I WILL fight for that belief. – at Austin, TX

I don’t begrudge any comic creators for cashing in on #substack. But no one seems to understand that if you take the community of comic shops and their sales force out of the equation, there aren’t as many new buyers for these things. – at Austin, TX

A fairly tasty affront on all of Creation.

Playing #pokemon at twitch.tv/IffyWizardry - and I have an important question about the game’s teachers. – at Austin, TX

“Are you taking preorders on that very hot item that is coming out tomorrow?” You really have no idea how this world works, do you? – at Austin, TX

The annual re-emergence of Jingle Bulova is upon us! Follow @CommercialParty for live tweeting the biggest ad night of the year. – at Austin, TX