Proud member of the mainstream media. I write an award-winning column for The Sun every Thursday. You’d love it.
London
Joined June 2010
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Working Title have just optioned it. Olivia Colman is the lonely "farmer". She was returning from her bastard of an ex's wedding reception. Generic Counter Terrorism Chief Colin Firth (also lonely) tries to claim credit for foiling the baddies but Colman is having none of it and after 90 minutes of passive aggressiveness and vomit-inducing that-would-never-happen-ness they move into a £3.5 million Cotswolds home together and no one questions how they can afford it on their meagre salaries.
Saw a discarded salt n’ vinegar crisp packet with a neatly coiled dog turd on top of it at the train station this morning.
To stop football fans throwing pints in the air at matches, just charge them a refundable £5 “glass deposit”. No one will want to chuck five pound notes around.
When you’re in the stadium, you’re not in the pub anyway so the pubs already lose out. But fans might stay longer in the pub if they didn’t have to neck any beer they bought at the ground before the game starts. And the throwing pints around thing. I don’t think many will do that, if any. It’s just Box Park England game silliness. And if they do, well insist on plastic bottles only.
Colin Robertson retweeted
The BBC will shut down all their foreign news bureaux rather than stop commissioning identikit chuntering podcasts.
Colin Robertson retweeted
A man has been detained in Brisbane after his girlfriend asked him to pose for a photo in front of a NIVEA poster.
Security thought he was exposing himself and held him until police arrived.
He was released shortly afterwards, explaining: “She just told me to do it. I had no idea.” 😆
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
This image is AI-generated and does not depict a real event.
Analysis using SynthID watermark detection confirms the image was created using OpenAI tools. There are no news reports supporting the claim that anyone was detained or arrested in Brisbane for this scenario.
imgur.com/a/t9BzVI6
hivedetect.ai/l2VNwP
I see the boxers are pretending THE FIGHT is happening now because one of them is being a “coward”. Proving once again that boxing bouts are like Christmas. The hype and fake stories go on forever and until a small moment of joy/disappointment on the day. #TysonFury
Give this guy his own show. Jethro Dull
Jethro Sheeran raps to Piers Morgan, before claiming he's a better rapper and songwriter than his cousin Ed Sheeran.
Piers: 'What you just did illustrates why he's a global superstar and you're not.'
Full interview 👇
📺 youtu.be/Kbmlv_HtrqI
@piersmorgan | @ALONESTAR1
I put some Macklemore on to see what the attraction is and discovered his music is even more insipid than Ed Sheeran's. The kind of rubbish you get in the gym, done as a "dance edit".
Waiting for an AI edit of this video to show her being jet propelled off that roof all the way into space
Of course we should be allowed to drink on the football terraces #football vm.tiktok.com/ZN8Mw5fjx/
The BBC’s censorship of Mitchell & Webb will ruin TV comedy
vm.tiktok.com/ZN8M78txb/
Yikes! Yeah we do actually do Traitors if everyone is in but so hard to turn their heads from the "get ready with me" or "worst own goals of all time" vids. They pretty much assume any "TV" is on Netflix.
Yep. The "yoof" (*sigh*) don't watch "television". I have two at home and they just watch youtube and maybe Netflix. They do that while I let 6Music wash over me coz I'm a bloke in his 50s (just) who will remain stuck in my semi-analogue world forever. And I'm the one who pays the licence fee!
I wrote about this last month: thesun.co.uk/news/40108613/b…
