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CC 🦋

@CCRuns

Find me here: https://xitter.cf/t.co/laetWPPF05 / Tik Tok: clythiecc / IG: & Threads cbcruns / my jokes are beloved by: @TODAYshow @HuffPost @buzzfeed @applenews

 Only Here When There's Drama
ccruns.bsky.social
Joined October 2013
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Can you believe it? You betcha! @eleniZarro picked you, @ccruns. Well what do you know. xitter.cf/ccruns/status/15871037…
CC 🦋 (@CCRuns) profile pictureCC 🦋@CCRuns31 Oct 2022
I asked my 83 year old mother what she’s going as for Halloween and she said Pete Davidson’s GF
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"that's what's up in these streets!" I say, adding a fourth egg to my three egg omelette
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Me: they didn’t have cell phones when I was a kid 5: they also didn’t have cars
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“I want this one, but look at this one, oh, but this one is my FAVORITE!”- -my kids looking through Christmas catalogs or me driving past multi-million dollar houses
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Trainer: Do you want to get healthy, strong, and have more energy than you’ve ever had before? Me: I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I couldn’t hear you over the crunch of my Doritos.
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CC 🦋 retweeted
Darla (@ddsmidt) profile picture
Darla
@ddsmidt21 Oct 2022
Judge time like I do by saying, “I’ll be here for about another two beers.”
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I hate to get political, but I don't think people should make meth out of babies
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Me: Do you have my back? Chiropractor: I’ve been to legoland I can fix this..
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Laura (@fairycakes) profile picture
Laura@fairycakes20 Oct 2022
My bottle of shampoo is on its 3rd Prime Minister
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[dinner table] Wife: *pulling cotton out of her teeth* this isn't what I meant by stuffed-crust pizza Me: *instantly regretting the online taxidermy course I took* you were pretty vague
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CC 🦋 retweeted
Mike (@Parentpains) profile picture
Mike@Parentpains21 Oct 2022
Liz Truss has made herself hated in 44 days and I don’t know why that’s a problem because I can make people hate me in 2mins
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Amazon says I'm Prime Minister now
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Money I don't Mario's final understand resting place 🤝 Crypto
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Doggy style so I can use his back as a gourmet Butter Board
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When people recommend a show to me I have to lie and say I haven’t seen it so they don’t know how much tv I watch
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Found a sock stuck to my cargo shorts this morning and according to my wife that means that they attract everything but money and women.
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I'm a very busy businessman doing business *on my laptop, laying on the couch, dog snoring in my ear
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I’m “gets a charley horse in my foot while putting on a sock” years old
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Philosophers are just adults that never grew out of their “why” phase
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Them: I think you really need to cut back Me: *emptying the entire bottle of maple syrup* I can quit anytime I want
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