Are you a Nazi? 😂😂😂😝 Per Paul Cooper, FB: The Day I Became A Fully-Fledged Nazi I didn't find out I was a Nazi from a history documentary. I found out from Dave on Facebook. It all started because I said I thought the bins should be collected on time. That's it. That was my radical right-wing manifesto. Dave, who I went to school with and who now has a Palestinian flag, an EU flag, and a picture of his sourdough starter in his bio, immediately replied: "Typical gammon. Nazi." I stared at my phone. I was eating toast. I thought, I've been called many things in my 59 years, but never that while eating a slice of toasted Warbles Then I made it worse. I said I wasn't sure men should be in women's boxing. Within 30 seconds, three people I'd never met called me a Nazi, a fascist, and literally Hitler. One of them had pronouns in its bio and a tote bag that said "Be Kind." Be Kind, but also you're Hitler, you cunt By lunchtime I had accidentally become a Nazi for believing: Borders should exist Kids shouldn't have TikTok account at 8 And that the council shouldn't charge you £80 to look at a pothole I went down to the local shops to buy milk, terrified someone might hear my jackboots. Turns out my jackboots were just my old Skechers. Deefa was disgusted they weren't Adidas! At the Co-op, Karen from the residents' association was collecting signatures. I said, "I just think we need a bit of common sense." She gasped like I'd just announced I was building a wall in Salford. "Oh, so you're one of THEM," she whispered. "One of the RIGHT WING NAZIS." I tried to explain that last time I checked, Nazis were into invading Poland, not into thinking your council tax should actually fix something. But that's the trick, isn't it? When everyone is a Nazi, no one is a Nazi. Now hear this. My grandad actually fought the real Nazis and most of his generation. They didn't fight them because they wanted lower taxes and controlled immigration. He fought them because they were actual, honest-to-God, murderous, jackbooted murdering bastards. Now the word just means "bloke down the road who disagrees with me on the internet." Dave thinks bin collection is fascism. Karen thinks common sense is white supremacy. And if you ask them what a woman is, you get promoted to Super Nazi Level 2. The funny thing is, it doesn't intimidate you after the first ten times. The first time you get called a Nazi you think, "Bloody hell, am I?" The 50th time you think, "Oh, is it Tuesday already?" They think it's a nuke. It's not. It's a water pistol. They've used it so much there's nothing left in it. You want to know how you know the word means nothing now? Because they call a 59-year-old bloke from Salford who just wants his bins emptied and a bit of peace and quiet the same thing they call the worst people in human history. And all it does is make me laugh and put the kettle on. So if you're one of the left-wing bully squad reading this - go on, call me a Nazi in the comments. I've got a badge for it now. I'm having it made. It'll say: "Official Nazi - Likes Bins Emptied On Time."