My birthday just passed, so it's a reminder of this letter my wife wrote to me on her death bed for the last birthday she was here for, 3 years ago. This connection and love isn't just because she was about to die, it wasn’t even just because I had tripled her lifespan (with a gene reprogramming therapy I created) when she should have died many months earlier. Or because I took care of her and our 3 babies during her terminal collapse. She and I were always this connected. We spoke like this the day we met. And the day we married. And the day she died. I am sharing this because neither male nor female should be wasting their time with games or taking the vow unseriously. If a woman doesn't devote herself to you when you devote yourself to her - you are wasting your time. Time is too precious to waste. If she gets the "ick" because you love deeply, you get up, and you say "OK have a great life" and move on without hesitation. Don't fight to keep something so already fractured. There's no shame in loving deeply. There's just shame in self-abandoning and wasting time in loving a person too immature to return that love. Jillian and I responded as is healthy - to reciprocity. And while this might be abnormal in modern dating, it is the only way a healthy marriage and family can be sustained. Deep marriage love is the best life has to offer. I'd not have traded it for $100 Trillion and in fact I'd burn every dollar I could ever make to see Jillian again. There's no Hell I wouldn't go through, and most I did go through, for her. She also went through plenty for me. I was nothing of the man I became when she met me. She believed in me more than I believed in myself. One day I will see her again, when I have completed my work here as a father and scientist. I know everyone will say this is a "unicorn" story but that's just it: it only happened because both people met with deep authenticity of who they actually were, while I also never let my love make me desperate for approval. I was as authentic to myself as I was to the marriage. That’s why it was strength and not weakness. Not a day goes by I don't wish it was me instead of her. Not a day went by when she was dying she was glad it was her and not me or our children. That’s what the Vow truly means. Anything less is self-abandoning. We lived it, when we had no money and when we had some, when we were healthy, and when we were not. It was an honor to be her husband. She was the best person I had ever known. [P.S. There's nothing in here very private, but she left me many other messages which would never be shared]