Cook, unwitting adventurer, hero of the Children of Bane series by Dan Rabarts

Wherever the portals take him
Joined June 2010
Apparently @rabarts will be reading from the tome of my adventures through the infernal window at 10.30 today: sites.grenadine.co/sites/con…
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Yes! Yes! Yes! All the things the Diabolical Barkeep says must be true!
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Aha! I'm sure if I look closely enough I will see a copy of Brothers of the Knife in amongst those, won't I? Hmmm?
Whole lot of #kiwi #sff books on the shelf over at @ArtyBees in Wellington! @leemurraywriter @AJPonderBooks @eileenmuellernz @darusha
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For your convenience, I have caligraphed the entire Wild Magical Banquet Menu over on @rabarts infernal internetical window. bit.ly/34VFwP1 Go, read. Cook. Rinse and repeat.
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A fearsome barkeep indeed! What sort of bars does he keep? Prison bars? Does he strain his foes before he garnishes them with an olive?
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Replying to @Akmenos
Couldn’t agree more. I have seen his prowess with an ice shaker, though there are many who have not lived to tell the tale. Or maybe that was a sword? The stories all get a bit jumbled...
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I'm not sure if it's just because he's from another world, but @Akmenos seems to be much better at this Twitter thing than I've ever been. xitter.cf/akmenos I think you should follow him, just for his witty repartee.
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Read on, dear @_Lexifab, read on! Mayhap my adventures will astound and baffle you as much as they did astound and baffle me!
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A simple dish, but aren't they often the best? And more importantly, now you know how to make it, you won't need to have dinner with an elf just to indulge in a bowl! And that's worth the price of admission alone!
Dessert! The final course in @Akmenos Wild Magical Banquet has arrived: Elvish Tossed Cream Trifle bit.ly/2C5k6CD Includes your chance to win a copy of Sons of the Curse, plus a super secret extract from Book 3 of the Children of Bane, Sisters of Spindrift. Enjoy!
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I suspect this will be a most popular addition to the wine list, indeed! @vnvdiak is indeed a scholar and a gentleman, but have no doubt that his skill with a blade is as true as his skill with an ice shaker. You have my word, right @rabarts?
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The best thing about this course, is that you can have it before dinner, and after dinner, and during dinner, and in fact as often as you like! Have it for breakfast, even! @vnvdiak will mix you one, you just bring the blood.
Bottoms up! Guest barkeep @vnvdiak serves up a unicorn chaser cocktail between courses at @Akmenos' Wild Magical Banquet. Behold, Blood in the Arena! bit.ly/2N6JAWt Maybe your best chance yet to have a go, post a photo and score a copy of Sons of the Curse!
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Ha hah! (OK, I had to ask a question of the infernal window to know what this Melbourne Goblet is of which you speak but yes, a chortle and more, indeed! Run, little unicorns, run from the roasting spit!
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If you can convince your local butcher to stock it, there's nothing will light up your next BBQ like some spit-roasted unicorn.
The moment you've all been waiting for, as @Akmenos rolls out his pièce de résistance on the Wild Magical Banquet: Spit-Roasted Unicorn! bit.ly/2JEt6CF (Trigger warning: The linked post may upset those who care deeply for unicorns, rainbows, polar bears and whales.)
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Ah, the only way to eat a lovely cut of Gryphon. #SonsOfTheCurse #ICanDoHashTagsToo #Whatwhat?
Another day, another Wild Magical Banquet meal rolls out. Today, @Akmenos presents Seasonal Slow-Cooked Gryphon! Includes an excerpt from Sons of the Curse, and of course details on how you can win a copy just by cooking yourself some food! bit.ly/31YFuE1
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Why, a gallon of the best fermented gratitude for you, good sir! bit.ly/2BU40vo
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Mmmm, Dire Wolf Bread Stacks, with Cheese! You can almost taste the howl in the night. bit.ly/2BU40vo
Dire Wolf Bread Stacks! The main meals start to roll out at @Akmenos' Wild Magical Banquet. If you haven't read #BrothersOfTheKnife yet, this post includes the full second chapter, wherein we meet our unlikely hero, and his world is turned upside-down. bit.ly/2BU40vo
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I couldn't agree more! Read Brothers of the Knife, let the world know the truth!
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Hah! Master of Cuisine and Hapless Prawn of Destiny! I like this moniker, indeed. Prawns are one of my favourite seafoods!
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Replying to @Akmenos
@Akmenos Wild Magical Banquet continues with Poached Wyvern Eggs! Remember that if you have a go at these recipes and post a photo over at @Omnium_Gatherum's FB page, you can win a copy of Sons of the Curse! bit.ly/2MSeyS7
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Aha! I see this @rabarts chap has found my crispy bacon-wrapped baby vrock drumsticks! My mouth is already watering.
Akmenos' Wild Magical Banquet continues, with the second course rolling out: Bacon-Wrapped Baby Vrock Drumsticks! bit.ly/36isoVA To celebrate the launch of Sons of the Curse, you can have a go at this or any of the meals @Akmenos is posting, and win an ebook!
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