BREAKING: With Red October officially over, the Phillie Phanatic has reportedly wasted no time reentering the workforce, interviewing at a Philadelphia Wawa less than 24 hours after his seasonal employment abruptly ended. Sources say his résumé lists 48 years of experience in creating chaos, dancing on dugouts, harassing umpires and operating a hot dog cannon with absolutely no OSHA oversight. His availability simply reads: “Immediately through March.” The interview reportedly went well until management asked where he sees himself in five years and he began violently gyrating next to the hoagie station. He remains a strong candidate. Management says anyone capable of handling 45,000 emotionally unstable Phillies fans should have no problem with the 2 a.m. Wawa crowd. @TMacPhils @JohnKruk