Alfred F❗️Jones

I have this reoccurring nightmare that Donald Trump calls me into the Oval Office on his 1st day as President & says "Alfred, you're fired."

Baby don’t got back.

It is 2015! I successfully drove 88 mph in a delorian to turn back the clock! Thanks Obama.

My catchphrase !

BRING IT IN IM COMIN IN HOT *large suffocating gravity defying bear hug*

Mmmmm nope, I’m seeing a bear hug in your very near future.

Well I can’t change now, it’s relevant again. At least give me a few more days in it.

Screw You I smell the same way as I always smell: Old Spice and Freedom.

Okay trade wars is one thing but garlic knots?? Really? It’s chick-fil-a nuggets. You should know that.

England would kick my ass if I used bad grammar (COMMA) sorry.

“I speak my mind and I hurt people.” - @xIwoJima , 2k18

The mini replica of my husband came home from war.

So ..... Texas was destroyed today. :'D

OKAY I-- Ooh.

I CAN SAY IT LOUDER IF THEY DIDN'T!

Shoutout the Mathias. He's still the most awesome out of all you lot!

You summoned me here with cheesesteaks. Deal with it!

IS THAT MY BESTIE MY BRO MY BFF MY BROTHA FROM ANOTHA MOTHA KEEKS ?!?!

I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK!

I just realized I'm still dressed as Santa. I should fix that.

I heard cheesesteaks.